Facilis Descensus Averno
by Callicokitten
Summary: AU end to ClockworkPrince. Benedict Lightwood arrives at the institute carrying his injured son, having fallen from grace he has nowhere else to turn. Now the Institute must try and save Gabriel's life as well as catching Mortmain.Jem/Tessa Gabriel/Will
1. Facilis Descensus Averno

**Facilis Descensus Averno**

**AN: **Couldn't find any Gabriel/Will so I decided to write some. Will start off with Gabriel/OMC and the obligatory Jem/Tessa/Will love triangle but will hopefully develop.

Kicks off where Clockwork Prince ends more or less except instead of Cecily turning up it's the Lightwoods.

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><p>Benedict Lightwood stood pale and trembling in the doorway. Gabriel lay limp in his arms; his chest was a mess of shredded skin and blood and every inch of his neck, arms and hands were covered in bloody runes. For a few horrible moments no one did anything. Even Will had been shocked into silence.<p>

Then Benedict spoke in a clear strong voice. "Will somebody please help my son?"

Gideon Lightwood stood up at once and rushed across the room to his father and brother, "Father!"

Charlotte too, stood and began barking orders, "Jem, Will, help Gabriel to the healing room. Those marks look like demon runes," she paused just long enough for Gabriel to nod. "Henry, see if you can get in contact with anyone who could help us with those. Tessa, with me." as soon as she'd finished speaking the room erupted with activity.

Gideon had taken his brother's unmoving form from his father and he was led out of the room swiftly by Jem and Will. Henry, surprisingly, had reacted quickly and barrelled out of the room after Jem and Will. Tessa stood unsure of what to do and Sophie hovered worriedly. Charlotte strode over to Benedict, "What happened?" she demanded, her eyes hard.

Benedict looked at her tiredly, "Apparently the Magister doesn't take kindly to betrayal."

Charlotte turned to Sophie, "Sophie could you please go and make sure there are rooms ready for Mr Lightwood and his sons."

Sophie bowed, grateful for something to do, and hurried out of the room. Charlotte turned back to Benedict, "Now tell me exactly what happened." She indicated that he should take a seat at the table.

Benedict dropped into the chair with a look of relief and closed his eyes briefly. He looked awful, Tessa noticed. Though they had seen him only hours previously his clothes now looked rumpled and worn, his face looked gaunt and tight with worry. He was trembling slightly, though Tessa thought that was probably from carrying Gabriel to the Institute from wherever they had been.

When his grey eyes opened he said, "We were attacked. They were waiting for us at the house; demons and some of those clockwork creatures. They didn't want me, they only wanted him. We tried to fight them off, but there were too many." He ran a hand through his silver hair, and somehow even in his exhausted state the gestured appeared elegant.

"They made me watch while they attacked him," Benedict continued and Tessa swore she could hear a tremor in his voice. "When they left I tried an iratze and every other healing rune I could think of, but those demonic runes...I think they must prevent healing. I didn't know where else to go."

Charlotte's expression softened, "Is there anything you need, Benedict?"

Benedict shook his head, "Just save my son." And Tessa was struck by a sudden thought; Benedict was dying. Without Mortmain's supposed cure for demon pox he'd be gone soon.

"Let's get to the healing room," Charlotte said.

They left the room quickly; Tessa walked beside Charlotte, Benedict trailed behind them slightly. Tessa's head was a hurricane. She was still trying to process what had happened earlier at the Clave and her engagement to Jem and Will's confession and now there was this. Gabriel might not have been Tessa's favourite person in the world but she was worried about him.

As they walked Charlotte leant closer to her and discretely whispered, "I kept you with me just in case this was some kind of trick.

And Tessa nodded mutely as her mind went into overdrive, _was this all a trick? _Would Benedict go so far as to allow his own son to be harmed to please Mortmain? Sophie had told her that he was hard on his sons, but she'd never thought he'd go this far for his own gain. She glanced at him, he was slightly pale but apart from that he appeared to have regained some of his composure.

When they entered the healing room Gabriel was lying, still unconscious, on a bed with Gideon bent over him. Jem stood on the other side, pale eyes wide with concern and hands bloody. Will was closer to the door and he turned to them as soon as they came in.

"None of the healing runes work, we gave him a painkilling rune but that's all we could do," he said sounding frustrated. "He's bleeding a lot and I'm pretty sure there's poison somewhere in there." Will went on to describe Gabriel's injuries further to Charlotte but Tessa didn't want to hear the rest, instead she crossed the room to stand beside Jem.

Gabriel usually tousled brown hair was stuck to his sweaty forehead and curling the way Will's did when slightly damp...His skin was so pale it was almost translucent. His chest was heavily bandaged but crimson blood had already soaked through them. His neck and hands had been cleaned of most of the blood and all that remained were the strange runes cut into his skin the cuts weren't shallow. Now that the ruins of his shirt had been removed Tessa could see runes above and below the bandages.

As though reading her mind Jem said softly, "The runes were all over his chest as well. Well, what remained of his chest anyway."

Tessa shivered involuntarily as she imagined how it must have felt to have those runes carved one by one into ones skin. Jem must have noticed for he caught her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Gideon was leaning over his brother, one hand brushing back his brother's hair. "Be okay," he whispering. "_Please, _be okay."

Gabriel stirred and his green eyes fluttered open, hazy and unfocused. Gideon leant forward and grasped his brother's hand. "Gabe? Gabriel," he said, his normally flat voice quivering with worry. "Gabriel look at me."

Gabriel blinked once more before his eyes focused on his brother's face. "Gid-Gideon?" he croaked.

Gideon looked slightly relieved and smiled weakly.

Beside her Tessa felt Jem relax slightly and he called, "He's awake."

Will surprised everyone by rushing over and almost knocking Jem out of the way. "Don't you dare die, Lightwood. This better not be revenge for what I did to your sister," He snapped, "Otherwise I'll have no one to torment!"

Gideon shot Will a look that could cut through steal but Gabriel coughed and laughed slightly. He looked about to reply but Benedict arrived, shoving Will, Jem and Tessa out of the way and saying, "Don't talk Gabriel. You need to rest."

Gabriel's dull eyes fixed on his father briefly before he turned away, with great effort and mumbled to his brother, "Should've gone with you..."

Benedict took a few startled steps back from the bed, looking as though he'd just been smacked. Will opened his mouth, no doubt to make a sarcastic comment, but before he could Jem stamped hard on his foot. Will turned to Jem angrily but again he was interrupted, this time by a coughing fit from Gabriel.

Gideon looked up at Charlotte who was standing at the foot of the bed, having a muttered conversation with Henry whom no one had seen entering the room. "What do we do?" he asked, desperately.

Charlotte turned to him, looking just worried. "Henry contacted the Silent Brothers about the runes, they're searching the archives but that could take ages, days. I-I'm sorry, Gideon. I don't who else we can contact."

Gideon's expression was heartbreaking and Tessa found herself saying, "What about a warlock?" at the same time as Will cried, "Magnus! He could help!"

Charlotte looked from them to Gabriel who at that moment whimpered in pain. She turned to Will, "Are you sure he'd help us?"

Will nodded, "I know he would. I could go to him; I could get him right now."

"Okay," Charlotte agreed. "Take Jem with you just in case; after this attack we have got to be on guard. And hurry. Go now."

Will nodded and grabbed Jem by the arm, "We'll be back as soon as we can be."

Charlotte watched them go and then moved over to the bed, glancing over Gabriel's damaged body, examining the runes in particular. She sighed and gave Gideon a pitying look before standing, "I'm going to go to the library and see if I can find anything about these runes."

She glanced once at Benedict who was by now leaning, pale faced, against the far wall and then said to Tessa, "You stay here, keep an eye on things. If he gets worse come and get me."

Tessa nodded and Charlotte left. She pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat opposite Gideon. "I don't understand," she said, not quite realising she was speaking aloud. "The runes, what are they."

Gideon answered without looking up at her, "They're demonic. But there are hundreds of demon dialects so we have to find the right one."

Gabriel by now was drifting, mumbling to himself and shifting around. Heat radiated off him as though he were a furnace. "We should do something to bring his fever down," she said standing as Gideon nodded in approval.

Tessa began to walk across the room, intending to head to the nearest tap but Sophie materialised at the door, peering through nervously. "Oh, Miss Gray," she said. "I wanted to let Mr Lightwood know that his room is ready."

"Thank you Sophie," Tessa smiled. "Could you go and fetch us some cold water and a cloth please?"

Sophie glanced once at Gideon before nodding and hastening down the corridor. Tessa crossed to her seat and sat down, not quite knowing what to do or say. When Sophie returned with the water Tessa pressed the cold cloth to Gabriel's fevered forehead and his eyes fluttered open once more.

"Gideon," he mumbled looking directly at his brother. "Where's Christopher?" he asked, before his eyes slid shut and his hand went limp in Gideon's grasp.


	2. Walked On Wood

**AN: **thank yee for the reviews :) Please review though guys, just so I know this fic is getting read! No point in updating if no one reviews :) Next bit should be up tomorrow.

This chapter jumps around a bit pov wise and that'll be a regular occurrence but hopefully it'll settle down a bit. Title and lyrics from Walked-on Wood by The Black Atlantic.

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><p><em>Last night you were running errands with dad, in his car<br>Tied the ropes round the fence_

Will was in such a hurry that he almost ran off before Cyril had readied the carriage, Jem had had to physically hold him back. When Cyril had brought the carriage round Will had barked the address at Cyril and then sat fidgeting impatiently.

To say Jem was surprised was an understatement. For one, Jem had been convinced of Will's loathing of Gabriel Lightwood and as a general rule Will didn't display much concern for those he didn't like. And for another, Will had always seemed relatively calm in a crisis, the only time he'd really seen Will lose control had been when they'd seen Cecily.

It wasn't that Jem had expected Will to celebrate Gabriel's injuries but he hadn't expected this level of concern. It was disconcerting. For the first time in his life Jem had no idea what was going through his parabatai's mind. Perhaps though Will had once loathed Gabriel it had begun to turn into a fondness? Will did enjoy baiting the elder boy. Or maybe it was pity. Jem certainly felt pity for Gabriel, in only a few days Gabriel's idol, his father, had gone from revered to hated. Jem had never believed that Gabriel had any idea of his father's connections to Mortmain; he'd just been manipulated.

Will was tapping his foot impatiently against the carriage floor. "We won't get there any faster if you wear a hole in the carriage floor." Jem said, quietly.

Will glanced at him, "Be quiet, James."

Jem arched an eyebrow; so this was serious.

When they reached the address Will had specified Will leapt out of the carriage before it had come to a complete stop and was pounding on the door before Jem had even got out. When he reached the door it had already been thrown open and a very unamused looking Woolsey Scott.

"Will, Jem." Woolsey said. "What are you doing here?"

"Magnus," replied Will breathlessly. "We need Magnus. _Now _Woolsey."

Luckily for him Woolsey didn't argue and vanished into the house to fetch the warlock. Jem couldn't bring himself to chastise Will for being rude because Will just looked so _agitated_. When Magnus appeared he didn't get the chance to speak before Will was tugging him by the shirt front and saying, "You need to come with us, _now._"

He'd already dragged Magnus halfway to the carriage despite his protests when Magnus pushed Will away. "William Herondale!" Magnus shouted. "I am _not _some little _slave_ of yours."

Will opened his mouth, no doubt about to scream at Magnus so Jem stepped forward swiftly, "Please, Magnus. We need your help with healing someone."

Magnus turned his feline gaze onto Jem. "Help with healing whom?" he enquired.

"Gabriel Lightwood."

"A _Lightwood,_" Magnus scoffed. "You expect me to help a _Lightwood_. Why would you want to? You know what Benedict has been up to and his sons aren't exactly worth my time."

Jem didn't know how to argue with that and while his mind scrabbled for something to say Will grabbed Magnus' arm once more, "Magnus please do this. _For me_."

Magnus stared at Will for the longest time. Then he sighed. "Lucky for you I can't say no to a pretty face," He muttered. "Lead the way."

Jem blinked in sudden realisation but said nothing as he followed Will and Magnus to the carriage.

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><p>Tessa blinked and looked up at Gideon in surprise, "Who is Christopher?"<p>

Gideon wore an expression of pale shock, "Christopher Morgenstern-" he began but he was cut off as his father strode across the room towards his sons.

"Christopher Morgenstern is no one of importance," he growled. "He's a dead boy and nothing more."

Gideon glared up at his father but remained silent and Benedict regarded him with something bordering on contempt. He looked about to say something more when Charlotte reappeared at the door, followed by Magnus, Jem and Will.

"If I'm to heal the boy I need you all to leave, please." Magnus said as he swept into the room. "Now."

Jem and Will hovered by the door, near Charlotte and Tessa got up to join them. Benedict followed slowly but Gideon looked reluctant to leave.

"Come on, everybody," Charlotte urged.

Eventually Gideon stood up and made his way across the room to the door, Magnus put a hand on Gideon's shoulder as he walked passed. "Don't worry. I'll save your brother." He said, kindly.

Charlotte led them into a sitting room near the sick room to wait. Tessa sat down on a low couch between Jem and Will, her hand almost instinctively searching out Jem's. Benedict and Charlotte both sat in armchairs and Gideon remained standing by the door. The room was silent but for the crackle of the fire Sophie must have lit earlier.

The silence was oppressive, chocking. Tessa longed to break it but she had no idea how. Instead she focused on the murmur and crackle of the fire and the reassuring ticking of her clockwork angel.

It was Benedict who broke the silence. Gideon, whose legs had evidently tired, dropped into an armchair opposite his father and sighed heavily. Benedict looked up at him, "I hope you're happy, Gideon." He said, darkly.

Gideon looked as though he had just been smacked. He gaped at his father, "_What_?"

"If you had stood with us this would never have happened. Gabriel would never have been attacked." Benedict said, quietly.

The room fell silent again but this time the silence was filled with anticipation, crackling in the air. Will was watching Gideon intently, Jem's grip tightened on Tessa's hand and Charlotte looked about to say something when Gideon laughed.

"You are seriously trying to blame me for this, aren't you Father?" he said incredulously. "It wasn't _me _who allowed demons into our house. It wasn't _me _who betrayed our very _race_. It wasn't me who sided with Mortmain. It wasn't me who killed his mother. It wasn't me who killed..." he stopped and shook his head. "You know you've ruined his life already Father. You've already killed him."

Benedict stood up enraged, "How _dare _you make such accusations!"

"They _aren't _accusations! They're the _truth_!" Gideon cried.

Benedict took a step towards his son, hand raised.

"BENEDICT LIGHTWOOD!"

Everyone turned to see Charlotte, red faced with fury. "How _dare _you raise a hand to your child!"

Benedict looked amused, "When you're a parent, Charlotte, I'll allow you to critique my methods. But as such, I will discipline _my_ children as I see fit."

"_No_," Charlotte said, firmly. "You will not while you are a guest in _my_ Institute."

Benedict raised an eyebrow at her, "Surely you wouldn't kick us out?"

A small grin tugged at the edges of Charlotte's mouth and it looked completely out of place on her usually kindly face. "No, Benedict. Gideon and Gabriel can stay for as long as they want. You, however, have worn out your welcome."

"You can't be serious," Benedict said, looking worried. "My sons-"

"Would be better off without you," interjected Will, glaring at Benedict.

"Exactly. Now, will you leave willingly or do I have to force you?" Charlotte asked coldly.

For a few moments Tessa thought Benedict would stand and argue but he didn't. Instead he straightened his jacket and drew himself up to his full height. "I will leave. But you will contact me as soon as Gabriel is well enough to leave."

"He's not going anywhere with you," snapped Gideon. "You've done enough damage."

Benedict smiled chillingly at his son, "I think we'll leave that up to him, Gideon." He turned to Charlotte, "I can see myself out." and with that he turned and left.

Charlotte sat down shakily and Will applauded her, "Excellent! Truly excellent!"

She smiled sheepishly and Gideon said, "Thank you for doing that. You didn't have to."

"I did," she replied. "No one deserves to be treated like that." Then she looked around at Tessa, Jem and Will. "If you three don't mind I'd like the chance to talk to Gideon alone. It's getting very late anyway." Will looked about to protest so she added, "I'll notify you of any developments. I promise."

The trio reluctantly left, shutting the door behind them.

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><p>Gabriel felt like he was floating.<p>

He was vaguely aware of voices above him; Gideon was there and then-

He couldn't. Couldn't think. Couldn'tcouldn'tcouldn't.

His chest hurt. His arms hurt. His head was spinning. His skin felt like it was crawling. His veins were surely pumping acid through his body and his chest was tight.

His brain was fogged. And darkness was creeping up on him.

Someone was holding his hand.

_Christopher? _

Gabriel could almost see those blue eyes, that blonde hair, that mischievous grin. _That laugh._

"_Hey, Gabe."_

"Kit?"

Christopher faded and then he could hear his father's voice as well. Judging and chastising. Controlling and hypocritical.

He felt so small.

And he didn't want to anymore.

_Should've gone with Gideon..._But he hadn't. Just like he didn't go with Christopher. And now...

Well. There was nothing.

So he stopped fighting the darkness.

_behind your shoulders he looms  
>what can you say when winter is lodged in your throat?<em>


	3. Hand Me Down

**AN:** thanks for the reviews! This is a longer chapter so rejoice! Also I can't remember if Gideon's age was ever stated in the books (if it was please tell me!) so for the purposes of this story Gideon is three years older than Gabriel and Tatiana (who I keep forgetting about) is two years younger. Enjoy and please keep reviewing!

Lyrics & title from Hand Me Down by the Wallflowers.

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><p><em>You've been used by an army of kings<em>_  
><em>_You've been touched by the lips of a queen__  
><em>_Now we've all made good use of you__  
><em>_But you won't be needed again_

Tessa lay down on her bed but knew it was no good. Too much had happened today and though her body _ached _for sleep she knew it wouldn't come. She thought about sneaking back down to the healing room but Will had warned her never to interrupt a warlock while he was working. She tried several times to leave but every time she did Gabriel, bloodied and pale, or Gideon, red faced with anger, strode into her thoughts and chased all hopes of distraction away. Also once or twice her thoughts were interrupted by a faceless boy she knew was Christopher Morgenstern.

She was about to give up and resign herself to a night of gazing hopelessly at the ceiling when there was a knock at the door. She sat up, "Jem?" she called.

The door opened and Will raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, I see how it is; you two get engaged and suddenly forget about me. I suppose I'll have to form a new friendship with Cyril. Or perhaps Six Fingered Nigel will have me back..." he said sullenly.

Tessa snorted, "Don't be so childish, Will. We wouldn't forget you." She wasn't entirely sure what made her say that, perhaps it was just that she was tired and couldn't be bothered to deal with Will's sarcasm. But perhaps it was the fact that she saw a hint of truth in Will's deep blue eyes.

He beamed, leaning on the door frame. "Oh I _know._ After all who could?"

"You may as well come in then," Tessa said. Will nodded and shut the door quietly before making his way across the room and throwing himself dramatically onto the bed beside her.

"I can't sleep." He stated matter-a-factly.

"Evidently," Tessa muttered wryly. For a few moments Will stared at her then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Why are you here, Will?" Tessa asked curiously.

He shrugged, "I can't sleep and you can't sleep. I thought we could not sleep together." He smiled and she smiled back and they lapsed into silence.

Then Tessa asked something, something that had been bothering her. "Will? This might sound a little rude but when Gabriel was brought in you seemed so desperate to help. I've only ever seen you that worried about Jem. Or maybe me." Tessa immediately regretted asking.

Will sat up and looked at her, his eyes wide. He looked _heartbroken _and for a few moments he seemed to be struggling to think of a reply and Tessa opened her mouth to say something, anything to end Will's torment. But then he swallowed and asked, shakily. "Is that truly how you think of me, Tess?"

Tessa shook her head hurriedly, "No! Will I-"

But he stopped her from continuing by raising a hand. "No, don't apologise Tessa. It would seem wrong." He sighed again and looked away, out of the window at the night sky. "I've realised how much I've lost because of that silly curse. And Gabriel may be a pompous spoilt brat but with a father like _that_...I suppose I feel a little sorry for him. And it would be a shame for him to die without realising what a complete evil sod his father is." Will added with a grin.

Tessa nodded and shook her head. "For a minute there I thought you had finally decided to take life seriously, Will."

Will snorted, "I can assure you, Tessa that I take everything with the utmost seriousness."

Tessa laughed and the two lapsed into silence again until she asked, "Will, who was Christopher Morgenstern?"

Will blinked at her in surprise. "Christopher...Why?" he asked, baffled.

"It was something Gabriel said," Tessa said hurriedly, feeling as though she were sharing a particularly private secret. "He asked his brother where Christopher was. Benedict got awfully angry about it as well."

Will shook his head, "Christopher Morgenstern was a Shadow Hunter, couple of years older than Gabriel. Gideon's age I think. He died about a year ago, rogue werewolves apparently. I didn't know they were close, though, suppose I should have. The Morgensterns and the Lightwoods have always been close. They share similar thoughts on Downworlders."

He smiled. "I bet Dieter Morgenstern would have a thing or two to say about Benedict's frolicking with demons." Tessa hummed and Will added, "I didn't really know Christopher that well. Jem knew him better. You could ask him if you really want to know."

Tessa was about to reply that it didn't really matter, it was just her curiosity getting the better of her but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. She and Will both looked up at the same time and this time it was Will who called, "Jem?"

But the door didn't swing open to reveal Jem. Instead Magnus Bane stood there with Gideon Lightwood hovering nervously behind him. "Tessa," Magnus said calmly. "I need your help."

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><p>Gabriel Lightwood was eight years old when he met Christopher Morgenstern and up to that point he'd thought his Mother was the most beautiful person he'd ever met.<p>

Barbara Lightwood _was_ beautiful, she had long, impossibly shiny dark hair that he'd heard women say they'd _die _for and her eyes were wide and clear and emerald green. Her skin was porcelain and her teeth were pearly white. Her voice had been musical, her laugh even more so and she moved with the elegant grace of a big cat. Beautiful and dangerous.

Gabriel preferred not to look too closely at his memories of his mother. He remembered the days when she had spent all her time with him and Tatiana (Gideon was always off with Father) and she had told them stories of her youth or dressed them up and played games with them. He tried to forget about the times she'd blindly follow his father's orders, like the time he'd screamed at her for treating Gabriel 'like a doll'. After that she hadn't spent a lot of time with him. (Gabriel was used to it though, for his mother their father was number one, or occasionally, Tatiana. For his father Gideon was number one. He was the back up. He'd always known that. He was okay with it.) Gabriel had tried over and over again to forget the day she'd died. Gideon and Father thought he was too young to remember but Gabriel knew that he remembered that day better than they did.

After that day Gabriel only thought about the good side of his mother, Gideon had taught him to never speak ill of the dead after all. So he'd always thought of his mother as the most beautiful person he'd ever met or ever would meet, until that summer's day in June.

He and Gideon had been in the library at their London house, Tatiana was being fostered by the Truebloods in Idris, they hadn't seen her for almost a year. Gideon was teaching Gabriel about Shadow Hunter runes when their father marched through the door followed by Dieter Morgenstern.

"Gideon, Gabriel," Father greeted icily. "Dieter will be staying her for a few weeks."

"Hello boys," Dieter smiled warmly at them. Gabriel liked Dieter whenever he was around their father behaved better. He didn't bring demons or warlocks or vampires back to the house, he didn't leave for days on end and (best of all) he didn't throw any of his parties. Gabriel _hated _his parties.

"Today I haven't come alone," Dieter said, beckoning for someone waiting in the corridor to come through. "This is Christopher, my son." He said.

Christopher stepped forwards, smiling coyly. He was taller than Gabriel, probably around Gideon's age. He had light blonde hair and shiny blue eyes, the colour of forget-me-nots or the midday sky in summer and for a few moments Gabriel was sure he was an angel.

But that was wrong, Gabriel knew it. Boys weren't beautiful. Boys were handsome. Girls were beautiful.

"He'll be staying here too. He's nine, a little older then you, Gabriel and a little younger then Gideon, but I'm sure you'll get along fine. You'll be great friends." Dieter said as Christopher waved at Gabriel shyly.

Gabriel's heart leapt, he'd never had a proper friend. He had Gideon, sure. And he had a few friends in Idris...but they were in Idris.

Father was getting impatient. "Dieter, come along. We _do _have business to attend to, you know."

Dieter rolled his eyes and waved Benedict's annoyance away. "Yes, yes, Benedict. I know." Then he turned back to Gabriel and Gideon. "Christopher's never been out of Idris before. It'd be good if you two could show him around London a little."

"I will!" Gabriel cried excitedly but he knew from his Father's expression that that was obviously the wrong thing to say. Gideon, copying their father, eyed Gabriel with an air of contempt before turning back to his book.

Dieter smiled and then turned and walked back to the doorway pausing to say, "I'm sure you'll do brilliantly, Gabriel. Have fun, Christopher. We'll see you boys later."

Benedict made to follow him but stopped and turned back. "Oh and Gideon, don't forget that Oliver Graymark will be coming here later to continue your training. Don't be late."

Gideon nodded, "Yes sir." And Gabriel's stomach twisted. He was supposed to be training with Oliver too. He wasn't doing the same thing Gideon was but still. Father was obviously _very_ annoyed. He wanted to ask Gideon what he had done wrong but Gideon looked too engrossed in his book too care.

Gabriel hated the way Gideon pretended to be their father.

"Your father seemed a little angry," Christopher said awkwardly.

Gabriel shook himself, he'd almost forgotten about the other boy. He turned to him and smiled warmly, "He's always like that. He has a lot of work to do." He said.

Christopher smiled back and held out his hand, "You're Gabriel, right?"

Gabriel took it and shook. "Yes." He said, happily.

Gabriel and Christopher spent that whole month together. It was a boiling summer that year so they spent almost all day out in the city, running through the maze of streets and people in their own little world. And on the few days that it did rain the house became their palace. They played hide and seek or made up treasure hunts for themselves and sometimes Christopher, who loved to read, would make up stories about how they'd fight demons together when they were older. And all the while Gabriel watched his father grow angrier and angrier at him. He was missing practise sessions, he was missing lessons. All to play with Christopher.

Gabriel didn't want it to end but of course, it had to.

On Christopher's last day it stormed. _Even London is going to miss Christopher, _Gabriel thought as they lay together in the fort they'd built in the attic.

"I don't want to leave," Christopher whispered.

Gabriel sniffed. "_I_ don't want you to leave either." He said softly. What he had wanted to say was: _don't leave because you're my only friend and I don't know what my father will do to me. _

Christopher was silent for a few moments and then he sat up and took Gabriel's hand in his own. "Gabriel, when we're older we'll still be best friends right?"

Gabriel blinked and then nodded. "Of course we will be!"

Christopher smiled, "Then I know how we can stay together, when we're older I mean." He added much to Gabriel's disappointment. "We can be parabatai."

Gabriel laughed because that was the _best _idea he'd ever heard in his life. "Yes! Yes! That'd be perfect!"

"_Excellent!"_ Christopher giggled, pulling the quill and inkwell they had stashed in the fort towards them. "I know the runes, we can practise them now."

Gabriel nodded excitedly and smiled but then Christopher's expression turned serious. "But there's one thing. To be parabatai you have to trust each other, fully. Do you trust me, Gabe?"

Gabriel searched Christopher's face for any hint of a joke but he found none, so he frowned. "Of course I do, Kit."

Christopher's blue eyes were wide and sorrowful. "Then why won't you tell me why you're so afraid of your father?"

Gabriel didn't know how to answer that so he lied. "I'm not."

Christopher sighed. "Gabriel, why do you pretend everything's okay when it isn't?"

And then he got up and left.

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><p>Tessa stood over Gabriel's pale body, "What do you need me to do?" she asked.<p>

Magnus had led her and Will down to the healing rooms while he'd explained that while he'd been able to stabilise Gabriel's condition he couldn't heal him without knowing what the runes carved into his skin were. So at best all Magnus could do was put off death. All the while Gideon had followed, pale and silent as a ghost.

"I need you to use your gift," Magnus replied. "You could change into him and see if you could see the memory of the attack."

Tessa felt slightly sick, seeing Gabriel's injuries was bad enough but having to live through them... Her mouth had suddenly gone very dry. "How would I even know what to look for?" she asked, trying to steady her voice. "I don't know the different types of demons or anything..."

Magnus smiled slightly, "You wouldn't need to because I would be with you." Tessa's confusion must have shown because Magnus sighed. "Someone really needs to teach you about warlocks. Warlocks can enter other people's minds usually if we have their permission but I can't enter Gabriel's mind because I don't have his permission. That and the fact that he's had several memory blocks put up."

Tessa was about to ask but Gideon stepped forwards explaining quickly, "They're exactly what they sound like. You can have a memory blocked off if you don't want to remember it. But why would Gabriel have any?" he asked, frowning.

"Have you met your father?" Will asked wryly. Everyone ignored him.

Magnus glanced at Gideon, "I have no idea. Ragnor Fell put them up, if that's any help." He turned back to Tessa, "Will you do it, Tessa?"

She looked at Gabriel, lying bloody and pale on the bed and his brother bent over him, hands balled in fists at his sides, he looked so angry and worried and helpless. Gabriel was young and he didn't deserve to die for his Father's sins. Then, for some reason, she looked at Will.

"I'll do it." She said firmly. "What do you want me to do?"

* * *

><p>Gideon made sure to be hidden safely in his room when the Morgensterns left leaving his little brother to face his father's anger alone. Their father didn't like them playing, they were Shadow Hunters. They weren't meant to play. Gideon understood that their father was stricter than others and that it was far easier to just do as he said. But Gabriel didn't seem to understand that.<p>

Gideon clamped his hands over his ears when he heard the front door slam and wished Gabriel could just be more like him.

"_You'll never be a Shadow Hunter or __**anything **__if you act like that! You will __**never **__be good enough!"_

* * *

><p><em>You're a hand me down<em>_  
><em>_It's better when you're not around__  
><em>_You feel good and look like you should__  
><em>_But you won't ever make us proud_


	4. Are We Pretending?

**AN: **Thanks for the reviews :D Seriously, they're like crack to me. Love 'em. Hope you all had an awesome New Years as well. Warning for slightly disturbing imagery in this part, not sure it merits an M... Also forgive me for my awful writing in the Christopher/Gabriel scene. SORRY.

On an unrelated note I always seem to picture Christopher as Jake Abel. Hm. My obsession with him seems to know no bounds.

Lyrics and title from I Like Pretending by IAMX

* * *

><p><em>Are we machines<br>Obsolete, alone  
>With symbiotic self indulgence<br>And if we dig deep  
>The circuitry burnt out, bends<br>Into neurotic repetition._

* * *

><p>Tessa closed her hand tightly around Gabriel's wrist. His skin was cold and clammy and she could feel his racing pulse. She'd never changed into to someone by touching them before. Magnus was standing in front of her, his hands pressed gently to either side of her temples, his yellow-green eyes watching her carefully. Gideon and Will were sat on the other side of the bed, Gideon was pale with worry and anticipation, Will would have looked calm to anyone who didn't know him but Tessa had seen the slight trembling in his hands and legs. Will was just as nervous as Gideon.<p>

"Ready?" Magnus asked her.

Tessa bit her lip and nodded, Magnus smiled slightly. "Remember, Tessa. Anytime you want to stop you can." He said.

"Okay," Tessa said and taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and gripped Gabriel's wrist tightly as she began to change. The sensation had never gotten any easier and when it was done her eyes fluttered open and she gasped.

Gideon, who had never seen her change before was gaping. "Uncanny," he breathed.

"Now comes the hard part," Magnus said softly.

Tessa closed her eyes again and let herself fall into Gabriel's memories. They spiralled and rose up around her and for moment she lost herself in a sudden rush of images- Gideon helping him up, teaching him how to wield a stele, a woman with deep green eyes and long dark hair _mother, _ominous footsteps echoing through the hallway, hiding under the covers, eyes squeezed shut, _not today, please I haven't done anything wrong_. And then there it was a whispered name, _Christopher. _

Before she could stop herself Tessa found herself following it and abruptly there was an explosion of memories. A sandy haired boy, childish games, a promise and then the sandy haired boy was all grown up. Blue green eyes and a quick smile. A soft caress. A laugh. A kiss.

_Tessa, what are you doing? _Magnus' voice in her head.

She blushed, _sorry, sometimes I can't control it, _she lied.

She could almost hear Magnus' disbelief but he kept quiet.

* * *

><p>Gabriel didn't see Christopher again until he was thirteen years old. He'd just had his arm broken by Will Herondale in front of most of England's Shadow Hunters and his father had taken it as a personal embarrassment. Gideon was in Idris so Gabriel had had to apply the healing rune himself. He was sitting, despondently in the garden plotting ways to end Will Herondale's life painfully as the Shadow Hunters continued the building behind him.<p>

His brooding was interrupted by a strangely familiar, but not, voice. "Hello, Gabriel."

Gabriel turned around slowly and cautiously. He blinked in surprise. "Christopher?"

Christopher's handsome face broke into an ear splitting grin as he sat down beside the younger Shadow Hunter and pulled him into a tight, rough hug. "Miss me?" he murmured softly, running a gentle hand through Gabriel's hair.

_By the Angel, yes, _Gabriel thought as he nodded into Christopher's neck. He wanted to say, _don't go ever again. _But that was absurd, he'd met Christopher only once, a lifetime ago and for a month they had been inseparable. But there was something in him, something he didn't know existed before, that felt relieved and overjoyed and _right_, now that Christopher was back.

When they pulled away Christopher surveyed him and said, "Good, because I really fucking missed you."

Gabriel smiled so widely he honestly thought his cheeks would split.

They ended up lying together under the stars, Gabriel's head on Christopher's shoulder. Something inside them both was screaming that this was _wrong. _ But neither of them cared. It was like they had never been apart.

"Come to Idris with me. To the school there," Christopher said softly. "What's here for you? Your brother's already left, your sisters barely here and your father..." he trailed off, looking down at Gabriel sadly.

Gabriel sat up and looked away from Christopher. "Kit..." he mumbled. "I don't...I can't...If I leave who's he got?" It was true enough; his Father was fast losing friends because of his lust for power and control. The only friends he had left were Downworlders and Gabriel wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Christopher sat up with him and wrapped his arms around the younger Shadow Hunter's back, resting his chin on Gabriel's shoulder. _This isn't what friends do, _Gabriel thought.

"Gabe, are you a happy person?" Christopher asked quietly when the silence stretched too long.

Gabriel's laugh sounded more like a sob and he was shocked to find his eyes blurring with tears. His head was pounding with the words, _alone, hurt, afraid, alonealonealone. _"No, Kit. I'm not."

Christopher snaked his hand down Gabriel's arm and interlocked their fingers. "Come with me. I promise I'll change that."

He thought about his father's stern lessons, his cold steely eyes, him taking the door handle off Gabriel's door whenever he held a party so Gabriel couldn't get out. Then he swallowed thickly, "Okay."

He pretended not to notice when Christopher pressed a kiss to his cheek.

* * *

><p>It took Tessa a lot long then she had expected to find Gabriel's memory of the attack. She had to fight through waves of fog and confusion and <em>don'twanttoremember, <em>but she made it eventually with Magnus' gentle reinforcement. She took a deep breath.

Gabriel was standing trembling in a room, his bedroom. He was dressed in a night shirt and loose trousers, the bed was unmade, blankets tangled on the floor, it dark outside, he had been sleeping. The only sound in the room was Gabriel's heavy breathing, his pounding heart, the roaring of blood in his ears. He was sick with fear and Tessa shook with him.

He was holding something tightly in his balled fist, a pocket watch, _Christopher's _pocket watch. _Please, please, please,_ he was whispering over and over in his head. Please what? Tessa wasn't sure.

Then the door swung open and the world exploded.

* * *

><p>Gideon greeted his little brother with a warm hug as soon as he arrived at the Shadow Hunter Academy. "What are you doing here, Gabriel?" he asked.<p>

Gabriel smiled, wider then Gideon had ever seen him smile. "Christopher asked me to come and I told Father I was going whether he wanted me to or not. You should have seen his face!"

Christopher stood behind Gabriel beaming and Gideon had the ridiculous urge to hug the younger boy he barely knew. _Thank you_, he wanted to say, _for saving my brother when I couldn't._ But he didn't. Instead he smiled and nodded to the other boy, hoping his eyes conveyed his gratitude.

Judging by Christopher's bashful nod back they did.

Idris was wonderful and Gabriel was free. And he had Christopher. There wasn't anyone judging him and comparing him. There wasn't anyone inviting demons and vampires and werewolves round in the dead of night. He was happy.

Gabriel avoided going home except when Gideon went because he knew his father was still annoyed with him leaving, but apart from that. He was happy.

* * *

><p>A demon stood in the door, the same demon Tessa had seen Benedict with at the party. Gabriel <em>whimpered. <em>"Not you," he half-sobbed, "Not _you._"

The demon smiled and the memory collapsed like a glass window under pressure. Shattering into an explosion of emotions, colours, sound, faces, claws, _pain._

Tessa's immediate impulse was to back away, to slip back to herself but Magnus held her fast. _It's okay, it's okay, _he soothed. _Tessa we need this._

* * *

><p>It happened like this, on Gabriel's sixteenth birthday:<p>

Gabriel always knew there was something different about his relationship with Christopher. He knew that many people thought they were just best friends, like Will Herondale and James Carstairs. But best friends didn't share a bed when one of them (usually Gabriel) had a nightmare, did they? No, Gabriel knew there was something different about his relationship with the older Shadow Hunter. He knew what it was. But it was easier to pretend he didn't.

They were sitting alone in the Academy gardens; they'd snuck out of their shared bedroom. They were lying together, star gazing, just as they had been doing that night almost three years ago.

"I'm old enough that we could be parabatai now," Gabriel murmured without quite knowing why.

Christopher, who had been carding his hand through Gabriel's hair, froze. He sat up swiftly causing Gabriel, who had had his head pillowed on Christopher's chest, to fall to the ground. "Ouch, _Christopher," _Gabriel snapped, glaring at him.

Christopher was watching him with an unreadable expression and that scared Gabriel; he always knew what the elder Shadow Hunter was thinking. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately, a hint of fear evident in his voice.

"Do you want to be?" Christopher asked in a brisk voice. "Parabatai, I mean."

Gabriel felt stupid for even mentioning it and he shook his head, "No...I..."

Christopher frowned. "Why?"

Gabriel looked away. _Because I think I'm in love with you, _he thought, surprising himself.

"Because I think I'm in love with you."

Gabriel blinked; it hadn't been him that had spoken. He gaped at Christopher who was standing now with his eyes fixed firmly on his shoes, his face red and his fists balled. "I'm sorry Gabriel. I-I know it's wrong. Boys don't fall in love with boys but you're..."

Gabriel stood up shakily, "Christopher," he began, his mouth dry. _I love you too, you idiot. _But he couldn't.

Christopher looked up at him, brow furrowed as he searched Gabriel's face. "You love me too?" he asked eventually. Gabriel nodded, obscenely glad that he hadn't had to say the words.

Christopher smiled, very slowly and then he laughed, pulling Gabriel up to stand in front of him. Gabriel had gotten tall but Christopher was taller. "Truly?" Christopher beamed and when Gabriel nodded again he pulled Gabriel into a tight hug and Gabriel's heart sang because it was so _right._

But it was so wrong."

"Kit..." Gabriel said in a shaky voice, looking away. "I _can't_. I'm a Lightwood."

Christopher watched the younger boy for a few moments before smiling. He reached out and turned Gabriel's face up to his, Gabriel's green eyes were shimmering and for a moment Christopher thought he saw tears welling up. He leant their foreheads together, "Not tonight, Gabe." He said, gently. "Tonight you're not a Lightwood. You're just Gabriel. And I'm just Christopher. We aren't even shadowhunters. Just two boys."

Gabriel's eyes widened, "B-But my family would-" he stammered.

Christopher laughed, "Forget your name, love."

And then he kissed him.

And Gabriel kissed back.

* * *

><p>Gabriel tried to fight the demon. He really, really did. But he was one Shadow Hunter and they were many. He tried to call out, but for who? His brother. But of course Gideon wasn't there.<p>

He was dragged down and then-

Writhing, whimpering, begging, _please, please, please._

Benedict was pinned against the wall by a large demon. His steely eyes betrayed no emotion at the sight of his younger son being tortured and Tessa felt faintly ill.

Burning, tearing, cutting, _pain, pain, pain._

Every part of Gabriel's body was screaming; it felt as if his very skin was being flayed off.

There was the demon again, the one Tessa had seen Benedict with, leaning over him laughing and speaking in a language she assumed was a demon dialect. Gabriel looked up at her with glazed green eyes and she raked her claws across his face.

Then there was a searing pain spreading across Gabriel's skin, like acid tearing through his veins. His skin was on fire and Tessa _screamed._

_Stay calm, _said Magnus. _Almost there!_

Gabriel was beyond screaming. He wanted to _die _and Tessa wanted to die with him.

The demon laid a hand on Gabriel's face and then she was- _oh, by the Angel_- she was _inside _his head.

Tessa couldn't-

Gabriel's eyes rolled backwards and there was black abyss. And endless agony.

But Magnus held her there, still watching.

And then Gabriel was lying on the floor. His eyes fluttered open and a figure was stroking his hair. "You're dead." Gabriel choked his voice raw from screaming.

The ghost smiled, "But you're not."

"Christopher..."

"You'll be okay."

"No, but I can pretend." Gabriel smiled weakly.

"Love you."

The ghost vanished and Benedict's face swam into view, "Gabriel? By the Angel, Gabriel! You'll be okay." His grey eyes were wide with concern.

* * *

><p>Magnus let go and Tessa fell backwards onto the floor, trembling and herself again.<p>

* * *

><p><em>But your silver skin soothes my aching curses<br>and reminds me  
>That you're worth it.<br>The whole world's insanities  
>The bleeding hearts and tragedies<br>Won't distract me from the deathwish_

_Are we pretending?_  
><em>Are we pretending?<em>  
><em>Are we pretending?<em>  
><em>I like pretending<em>


	5. You Return to Me at Night

**AN: **Updating quickly because of all the lovely reviews :') Especially Julianna who said she liked this story as much as the actual series which made me smile like crazy for about two days! Thank you so much you wonderful people! Ahead be angst.

Also, in reply to Luca my headcanon!Gabriel looks like Alex Watson (Emma Watson's little brother) or maybe Landon Liboiron. :)

Lyrics and title are from Epilogue by The Antlers (my favourite band)

* * *

><p><em>In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you,<em>

_You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up,_

_And like before you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake,_

_Your dreams follow story lines, like fictions you would make._

* * *

><p>Will was beside her in an instant. "Tessa? Tess, are you okay?" he asked, blue eyes wide with concern. Tessa nodded shakily and Will helped her to stand.<p>

"Did you find it? Did you find out who did the runes?" Gideon asked hurriedly.

Magnus nodded slowly, "They were done by a _very_ powerful demon, but I should be able to remove them rather easily..." his voice trailed off and he was gazing at Gabriel thoughtfully.

Will frowned, still supporting Tessa with one arm. "But..?"

"It's peculiar, she's a powerful demon. She could have given him eternal torture or made it so he couldn't ever wake up. Or maybe that he'd wake up brain dead. She could have done anything but she only chose to make it harder to heal him."

"The demon," Tessa said, still shaky. "We saw her, me and Will, with Benedict." She attempted to shrug Will's arm off of her but when she did so she swayed unsteadily and Will caught her again.

"By the Angel, Tessa, what did you see?" Will said in a quiet voice.

Tessa opened her mouth to reply but her voice died in her throat and she swayed again.

"Will, can't you see that she's exhausted? She should probably go and get some rest." To Tessa's surprise it was Gideon speaking and, too tired to protest, she reluctantly allowed Will to half carry her up to her bedroom. She was asleep as soon as she hit the pillows.

As soon as they'd left Gideon looked up at Magnus, "You can heal him now, right? He'll be okay?" he asked, one hand resting on his brother's forehead.

Magnus nodded slowly, "It'll be slow but he'll be fine. Physically anyway." Gideon frowned at him and Magnus continued, "What he went through was rather traumatic, Gideon. Don't expect him to be completely back to normal straight away. Shadow Hunter or not, he's still human."

Gideon swallowed and nodded, looking down at his little brother. "He's tougher then you think, Magnus." He said quietly. "Tougher than most people I've met."

Magnus smiled slightly. "I don't doubt that. Now, I suggest you go and rest and leave me to heal your brother."

Gideon beamed at him. "Thank you."

And Magnus began the think the Lightwoods might not all be _that _bad.

* * *

><p>They fought that day. The day of the werewolf attack.<p>

But then they had been fighting a lot.

Sometimes Gabriel thought it was because they weren't meant to be together. They were _wrong. _They were both boys. It wasn't meant to happen. They both knew that it would have to end one day that they would have to get married and have families eventually. But neither of them wanted to.

Their fights always ended the same way. Christopher would throw something or break something and storm out and Gabriel would bite his lip to stop himself from crying (it didn't always work) and he'd wish he had someone to talk to. But he didn't. How could he? He couldn't tell anyone about him and Christopher, they'd be banished.

Christopher would sneak back into their room hours later and it would _always _be night and he'd lie down beside Gabriel and wrap his arms around him. "I love you, I'm sorry," he would whisper, pressing gentle kisses to Gabriel's neck. "You know my whole world would stop spinning without you, Gabriel."

And Gabriel would crumble.

But that day was different.

They were in London for a week hunting a couple of demons when they started reading about werewolf attacks in the papers. Of course they weren't _described _as werewolf attacks, the mundanes had pinned the murders on a human, but they were definitely werewolf attacks.

They had tracked the pack. They had decided to hunt them the next day, Benedict (because Gabriel hadn't thought of him as _father_ for a long time) was visiting Tatiana and her new husband so they went back to the Lightwood's London house...

* * *

><p>Gabriel heard a mumble. He saw a light. He tried to move but he couldn't-<p>

"Hey, shh. You need to rest," someone said, pushing him back gently onto the bed.

He opened his eyes and the world spun.

Someone took his hand, "I'm here."

* * *

><p>Tessa woke up to find Jem sitting beside her bed stroking her hair gently. "Hey," he smiled as her eyes fluttered open. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead and she smiled.<p>

"Will told me what you did. I wish you would have woken me," Jem said.

"I'm sorry it's just..." _you need your rest._ The words died in her throat but Jem seemed to know what she meant. He looked away, cheeks colouring slightly but said nothing.

Tessa sat up, "I'm sorry, Jem."

The hand squeezed his reassuringly. "You're so pale..." the someone mumbled. "I wish..." there was a sigh and then, "I wish things had been different, Gabriel."

Gabriel tried desperately to identify the voice before letting the darkness take him back under.

He turned and smiled at her, brushing back the few strands of hair that had escaped onto her forehead. "It's okay, don't be sorry. I'm proud of you, Tessa. Will told me about it, it must have been so difficult." He said, pulling her towards him.

She nodded and settled against his chest. Her head was pounding and she closed her eyes briefly, but as soon as she did all she could see-hear-feel was _claws and pain and burning and searing and_-

"Tessa!"

Her eyes flew open and she was shaking. Jem was watching her with horror in his silver eyes. "Sorry," she said smiling weakly. "It's just...I've never...Oh, _Gods_, Jem. What they did to him." To her surprise she found her eyes filling with tears.

Immediately he pulled her closer, one hand running through her hair, "Shh, Tessa. It's okay. I've got you."

Tessa let herself cry into Jem's shoulder and he stroked her back and ran his hands through her hair and whispered gentle words that only love can know. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and that just made her want to cry all over again; how could something so steady ever stop? But eventually her breathing steadied and the tears stopped.

She closed her eyes again and this time was struck by a different memory: sandy blonde hair, eyes the colour of the clear blue sky. A laugh, a smile, a kiss.

"Jem, who was Christopher Morgenstern?" she asked quietly.

Jem, who had been humming a lullaby and rubbing circles along her back, froze. "What?"

She looked up at him, "Will said you knew him. Gabriel called out for him earlier."

His cheeks had coloured slightly Tessa noted. "Yes, yes, I knew him a little bit. He was nice. He and Gabriel were...close." he said quickly.

Tessa sat up, frowning at him. "How close?"

Jem watched her for a few minutes before saying, "By the Angel, Tessa. What do you want me to say?"

"I've been inside his head, touched his memories. I wanted...I saw someone. Were they...together?" she asked softly. She wasn't sure why she needed to know so badly. Perhaps it was just her being nosey but perhaps it was the fact that she'd felt how deeply Gabriel loved Christopher and she wanted to know that it was possible to live after that love was dead and gone.

Jem nodded slowly, "They were. You won't tell anyone though, will you? I shouldn't even know. Gabriel doesn't know I do."

"Of course not!" Tessa said.

Jem smiled at her, "Now come on, let's go down. We're almost half an hour late for breakfast as it is."

* * *

><p>It had been a stupid argument; Christopher had been annoyed that Gabriel still defended his father after all those years.<p>

"I just don't get it," he snapped, pacing in front of Gabriel's armchair. "He treats you the way most Shadow Hunters would treat a Downworlder. Can't you see what he's done to you, Gabriel?"

"He's still my father, Christopher." Gabriel said quietly, not looking up from his book. They were using full names. They never used full names unless it was serious.

"Maybe I should treat you like that, then." Christopher retorted hotly. "See if you're so quick to defend _me._"

Gabriel looked up at him, green eyes flashing angrily. "You wouldn't." He spat.

Christopher paused and bent down till they were at eye level. "Maybe I should," he repeated. "Bet you wouldn't do anything about it anyway. You're so pathetic."

If it had been any other day Gabriel would have punched him. But it wasn't just any other day; it was the anniversary of Christopher's parent's death. So Gabriel bit his lip and didn't reply, staring defiantly at Christopher until the older boy turned away.

"Knew it," he said, smirking darkly. He turned and strode out of the room. A few seconds later Gabriel heard the door slam. He closed his eyes and counted to seventeen, _it's okay. He'll be back when you wake up. He always is, _he soothed himself.

But Christopher wasn't back by 5am and Gabriel gave up trying not to cry. He got up and wandered London until he was sure his feet would start bleeding and fell into bed at 1am before getting up at five and repeating the cycle.

* * *

><p>When they entered the room Magnus, Charlotte, Gideon and Sophie were already waiting. "Will's watching Gabriel," Jem supplied as Tessa looked around in confusion.<p>

"Yes," said Charlotte. "We thought we'd better get Gideon fed and watered before he went back to sitting there endlessly." She smiled at Gideon almost fondly.

"Are you feeling better now, Tessa?" Gideon asked kindly.

"Much better, thanks." She said, smiling.

Then abruptly he stood up and crossed the room to hug her tightly. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so, _so_ much."

Tessa patted him rather awkwardly on the back, "You're welcome."

When they were all seated Charlotte announced that Gideon would be staying on at the Institute from now on.

* * *

><p>Gabriel woke up again, his body trembling with fever and pain and he was so clammy and so cold and everything <em>hurt.<em> He wanted to die.

"Don't you ever say that," the voice snapped. "Don't you ever even _think _that!"

Gabriel closed his eyes again.

* * *

><p>He should have known sooner. He should have noticed.<p>

Christopher's gear and weapons were missing. Gabriel cursed himself for not noticing.

It had been three days.

He grabbed his gear.

Three _days._

He already knew what had happened.

_Three _days.

When he got there the wolf lair was empty but for a sprawled body so broken that for a minute Gabriel tricked himself into thinking it was some sort of doll dropped from a great height.

_Three days._

"Christopher, you _idiot._" He sobbed dryly. He wanted to cry but the tears didn't come.

The funeral was small but Gideon came over from Madrid to be there and for a second Gabriel remembered how Gideon had crept into his room when they were little and had whispered, "It'll be okay, Gabe."

Gideon had run up to him and hugged him tightly as soon as he'd arrived. Gideon had known, Gabriel had never told him but Gideon had known. "It'll be okay, Gabe." He whispered.

But those weren't the words Gabriel wanted, _needed, _to hear. He needed to hear Christopher's rough whisper. _I love you, I'm sorry. You know my whole world would stop spinning without you, Gabriel. _So he pushed Gideon away and said, "No, it won't be."

And Gabriel still couldn't cry.

Not until after the funeral when Gideon had found him tucked away in some corner, knees brought up to his chest and hyperventilating. Gideon pulled him up and said, "Tell me how I can make this okay. _Please,_ Gabriel, anything." And he had sounded so raw and desperate that Gabriel had crumpled against him and beaten his fists on his brother's chest.

"I don't know," he cried. "Nothing will _ever _be okay!

* * *

><p>Will sat staring out at the starry sky, listening to Jem's mournful violin music drifting through from through from the corridor. Not that he could see many stars through the smog. He'd tried to read but every book he had seemed to remind him of Tessa. Sweet, beautiful, unattainable Tessa.<p>

Tessa was asleep. Magnus had left and Jem was otherwise occupied. He'd thought about wandering the streets but his stomach had churned at the thought that something might go wrong with Gabriel while he wasn't there and... Well, he didn't know. He couldn't actually _do _anything if something did go wrong and he wasn't entirely sure why he cared so much. He'd put it down to feeling guilty about needlessly crushing Tatiana and breaking Gabriel's arm and left it at that.

But there was something that had roared protectively when Benedict had stumbled in carrying Gabriel, pale and bloody. Something that Will wasn't sure he liked. In fact Will was a hundred percent sure he _didn't _like it.

His brooding was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Gideon. "What do you want, Gideon?" Will asked politely.

"I need to sleep," Gideon said softly and he did look like he needed sleep. He'd been sitting with Gabriel for almost a full twenty four hours now. "Would you watch him for me?"

_No,_ his brain said. "Yes," his mouth said.

Gideon smiled with relief and Will contemplated sitting in the library instead. He didn't of course.

When he got in to the room Gabriel, now mostly healed, was mumbling in his sleep, twitching and thrashing and whimpering.

Will sat down beside him and put a hand across Gabriel's.

* * *

><p>Christopher was gone. But then there had been the dream.<p>

Gabriel was curled up sleeplessly in his bed. Eyes closed, focusing on the soft ticking of the clock in his room willing himself to _sleep._

And then there had been a ghostly hand around his waist and a gentle tickle in his ear, "_Oh, Gabriel. I'm so, so, sorry."_

Gabriel didn't dare roll over just in case the ghost vanished.

"_I love you, you know that?" _the ghost said.

Gabriel caught his lip between his teeth, "You're dead. You left me." he said shakily.

"_I know," _the ghost replied. _"I know, love." _

"What am I supposed to do _now_?" Gabriel cried. "How am I supposed to do this without you, you _stupid, _selfish bastard! You left and took the whole world with you," he sobbed. He was shaking so hard for a few minutes he feared he'd scared the ghost away.

Then a cold finger brushed back his hair. _"I'm sorry. But you'll be okay, I know you will be."_

"No," Gabriel had whimpered. "Let me come with you. _Please_. There's nothing for me here."

"_Oh, Gabriel. No, no. You have to live, okay? Don't pity the dead, Gabriel."_ And the ghost vanished. "_I love you," _it said before it left. _"I left you and my whole world stopped spinning, see?"_

Gabriel woke up with Christopher's laughter echoing through his mind and his father knocking at the door. "Come on," his father barked. "The Clave has called a council."

* * *

><p>"<em>You did it," <em>Christopher whispered. _"I knew you'd be okay."_

* * *

><p>Gabriel opened his eyes, "<em>Christopher<em>..."

"No, I'm Will, remember?" he heard a voice to his left say.

"Finally," Will remarked, "I was beginning to think I'd have to sit here all night."

Gabriel blinked at him; clearly he hadn't expected to see him. "W-Will?" he stammered, voice rough from disuse. "Have you been here all the time?" he asked, bewildered.

"No," replied Will wryly. "Believe it or not, Gabriel, my life does revolve around things other than you." He was about to stand up and get Sophie to fetch Gideon when Gabriel's eyes widened.

"Wh-Where...?" he mumbled and then almost sobbed, "No, I can't be here! Anywhere but here!"

Will stood up and moved towards him, alarmed. "Gabriel, what?" Then Gabriel tried to get up, "Whoa, no." Will said, pushing him gently back onto the bed. "Gabriel, you can't," he started to say but he stopped.

Gabriel was shaking so hard Will feared he would break apart and his green eyes were clouded with tears. "Oh, _Will_," he moaned. "Don't you get it? It's a trap."

* * *

><p><em>I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me,<em>

_Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep,_

_But I know better as my eyes adjust, _

_You've been gone for quite a while now, and I don't work there in the hospital _

_(They had to let me go)_

_When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift,_

_I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift,)_

_But you return to me at night just when I think I may have fallen asleep,_

_Your face is up against mine and I'm too terrified to speak._


	6. The Taste of Blood

**AN: **hey guys! Sorry it's been a while real life has been a bit time consuming. Also, most anticlimactic trap ever :') as always my imagination has exceeded my talent. Keep the reviews coming they're my life blood. This is an awful (but essential) chapter, sorry! But finally, Will/Gabriel people!

Character death in this part, don't hurt me! I just need to. Also for the purposes of the story the healing room is sound proofed. Yeah. Lyrics from Ways & Means by Snow Patrol.

* * *

><p><em>Maybe I won't suffer<em>_  
><em>_If I find a way to love here__  
><em>_I'd be lying to myself__  
><em>_But there is no way out that I can see_

* * *

><p>It took Will several minutes to process Gabriel's words. <em>It's a trap.<em>

Without thinking Will grabbed Gabriel by the shoulders, "What do you _mean?_" he demanded. He couldn't lose anyone else. _He couldn't._ Not the Institute, his home. They'd already lost Thomas and Agatha, and almost lost Charlotte, Henry and Jem. _Jem._

Jem was weakening quickly. He couldn't cope with another huge fight just yet.

"What do you mean?" he repeated.

Gabriel whimpered and he turned away mumbling, "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

"No," snapped Will. "Gabriel, Gabriel, I need you to tell me what's going to happen."

Gabriel looked up at him with wide eyes and said, "They're going to kill _all of you._"

* * *

><p>"You're sure this will work?" he hissed as they approached the Institute.<p>

She smiled, slow and sadistically, "Of _course _it will."

"Demons can't get in to the Institute," he snapped, making to turn around. "It's just not possible."

She grabbed him by the arm and rolled her eyes at her two companions. "You Shadow Hunters think you're unbeatable. It's pathetic." She spat the words before turning back to him. "There's a spell we can use that will diffuse any protection and warding spells, it even weakens older magic for a time. The spell needs to be placed on an object in the area we want to enter." She smiled sweetly and for a minute he was reminded that this is the _queen _of demons he was talking to.

_The object, _she said. _Your son, _he heard.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked after a few moments. "You don't work with the Magister. Why are you helping me? Why do you want the girl?"

She laughed. "Why do _you _think I want _my _Shadow Hunter in charge of the Institute?"

For a few moments Benedict looked at her and thought about what he was about to do. She smiled and leant in close to him to hiss in his ear, "Tick tock, Benedict." she ran a hand along his arm, along the rash.

_Tick tock, Benedict. _If he did this she'd cure him _and _he'd be head of the Institute. All he had to do was let the demons in and let them take the warlock girl, no questions asked. Everyone else would be discredited easily. Benedict had an airtight alibi and why would they try to pin this on him?

He sighed and strode up to the Institute doors as the demons behind him changed their appearances to that of servants and maids. One of them stayed back at the carriage, the others followed him up to the Institute doors. He took a deep breath and knocked.

The maid, Sophie answered the door. "Oh, Mr Lightwood, we weren't expecting you so late."

Benedict licked his lips and spoke in the steadiest voice he could manage, "I'm here to see my son."

"Oh, oh," the maid stammered. "Um, of course Mr Lightwood. I'll just...I have to check with Mrs Branwell first."

Benedict's eyes narrowed. "Miss Collins, you will let me in right now or I swear to you, the consequences will be dire."

* * *

><p>"Gabriel, what are they going do?" Will asked slowly, for the hundredth time.<p>

Gabriel had his eyes shut tight, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Will leapt away from the bed and tugged at his hair in frustration. Half of him was convinced Gabriel was hallucinating, _hoped _Gabriel was hallucinating. But there was a sick feeling in his stomach that told him the older Shadow Hunter wasn't lying. And he didn't know what to do.

He took a steadying breath and said, "Gabriel, _please._ I need to know what's happening."

Gabriel looked away and before Will could say anything further Jem burst into the room, silver eyes wide, "WILL!" he cried, "Demons, _demons _in the Institute!" he threw Will his gear. Jem was panting, Will had never seen him look so dishevelled, his clothes were bloodstained.

Will's heart stopped. Where was Tessa? "What's going on?" she asked calmly.

"We need you; it isn't going well at all down there." Jem said, backing out the door.

Tessa appeared beside Jem and Will sighed with relief. "You stay here," Will barked, he glanced back once at Gabriel "And watch him," he added to Tessa before following his parabatai out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Will panted as they ran through the Institute.

"There were only four demons," Jem called back over his shoulder. "Gideon, Charlotte and I should have been enough. But we weren't, obviously. They- Sophie and Charlotte are injured and Henry...I don't even know where he is." Jem's voice broke.

Will caught up with him and touched his arm, "It'll be okay."

The scene in the grand hallway of the Institute was one of absolute carnage. Gideon and Charlotte were fighting a losing battle against 3 demons, blue skinned, red haired, clawed beasts; Will had never seen anything like them. _How had they even got in? _Sophie was huddled in the corner, blocked from retreat from a fourth demon, a woman, the same woman Will had seen with Benedict Lightwood. She was watching the fight with a smile playing across her face. And leaning against the Institute door was Benedict Lightwood.

Will's blood started to boil and he launched himself screaming, "Traitor!"At Benedict.

The demon woman cackled and called out to him as he yanked Benedict away from the door. Will could barely her hear over the noise of the fight, "Ah, William Herondale, I met your father once. I'll extend you the same offer I gave your friends. Give me the Warlock girl and I promise, we'll leave."

* * *

><p>As soon as Will had shut the door behind him Gabriel's eyes flew open and he rasped, "What's happening?"<p>

Tessa shook her head, "Gabriel..."

"It's him isn't it? My father?" he said softly, his green eyes fixed on Tessa.

She sat down heavily and cursed herself for being so useless. She should be down there fighting to protect the Institute, her family, instead was stuck up here. She could sneak down without any trouble but she'd just be in the way. And she couldn't leave Gabriel alone. "Yes," she said, sadly. "_Yes, _it is and I can't do a thing to stop what he's doing."

Gabriel bit his lip and for a moment Tessa was struck by how plaintive the gesture was. "Now you know how I've felt most of my life," he mumbled. His eyelids fluttered, he was still so weak. He could barely stay awake. "I wanna help," he said groggily.

"You can't, you need to rest." Tessa said mechanically and his eyes slid shut.

Before he stilled completely Tessa swore she heard him say, "You don't." But it was so soft she wasn't if he'd actually said it or if she'd willed it into existence.

"You're right, I don't." She said to herself.

* * *

><p>When Gabriel slipped gladly in to the darkness again he found Christopher waiting for him.<p>

"It wasn't you," Gabriel said softly. "It wasn't you saying all those things to me. Holding my hand. It wasn't you."

Christopher smiled sadly and pulled Gabriel to him so he was pressed against Christopher's chest. "No, of course it wasn't, love."

Gabriel ran a hand across Christopher's face. One day he wouldn't remember it. One day Christopher would just be a hazy whisper, a hand print on a foggy window. He whimpered and buried his face in Christopher's chest. "He's attacking the Institute, Kit. He's killing them and it's all my fault."

Christopher held him but didn't say anything so Gabriel whispered, "Take me with you, please."

Christopher looked down at him and brushed Gabriel's hair back tenderly, his blue eyes were wide and sad. He searched Gabriel's face and then said quietly, "Don't ask that of me. _Please, _Gabriel, I won't be able to resist."

"Then don't." Gabriel whimpered.

* * *

><p>"You know, Branwell, you could stop this at any time." Lilith said smugly.<p>

Will was limping, Jem was fading fast and Gideon left arm was hanging limp. Sophie was bleeding and Henry, _Raziel_ she had no idea where Henry was. Charlotte's head was throbbing, her hair was congealed with blood and every time she moved too fast her head swam. They had only killed one of Lilith's demons. _We don't stand a chance, _she thought dimly. At least they had taken Benedict down. The elder Shadow Hunter was sprawled on the floor a few feet from her.

"Never," she spat at the demon queen.

Lilith laughed, "You would sacrifice everyone here for a little Downworlder you barely know! We'll take her anyway."

"No you won't," Will snarled from Charlotte's left.

"Then die," Lilith said, grinning widely. "Die and solve most of our problems."

Tessa watched as her friends fought, _for her. _Because of her. She couldn't fight with them but there was one thing she could do. She stood up from her hiding place.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Tessa said loudly. Everyone stopped and looked at her, gaping.

"Tessa," Will began but Tessa shot him a look that shut him up.

She swallowed thickly, "If I come with you, you'll leave them alone?"

The demon smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'll even leave you the Shadow Hunter to torture." She said, kicking Benedict's limp body.

"You promise?"

The demon nodded again.

"And what would I have to do?" she asked.

"That's up to the Magister," Lilith said musically. "But he's assured me he won't hurt you."

Tessa gulped and looked once more at the Shadow Hunters. Charlotte and Gideon were gaping at her; Jem was staring with a mixture of awe and fear and Will was muttering, _no, stop Tessa. Stop this now._ The demons were stood frozen, staring at their leader. "I'll do it."

Lilith smiled slowly, the kind of smile Tessa imagined a shark would have as it cornered its prey. "Clever girl." She held out her hand, "Come on, warlock."

Tessa strode towards her bravely, smiling to Will as she past him and mouthing, _I'll be okay. _As she passed Jem he stepped forwards. "You can't take her," he said very calmly, striding up to her and taking her hand. "If you take her, I'm coming too."

The demon cackled, "As you wish Carstairs. The Magister won't be pleased, though."

Tessa wanted to tell Jem to stay but she knew he wouldn't so instead she looked at him and smiled gratefully. He returned it and the two turned to face Lilith. "There's a carriage waiting for you." She said.

Jem squeezed Tessa's hand reassuringly and turned to Will who was watching them wide eyed. "You can't both leave." He said, sounding for all the world like a lost child. Charlotte was holding him back, as though she expected him to run after them at any moment and that was probably a very real possibility, Tessa reflected.

"You _can't _leave me, James!" Will snarled, tears in his eyes.

"William," Jem said gently. "You'll find us."

"But-" Will began, Jem tugged at Tessa's hand and she mouthed, _I'll look after him, _to Will.

And then they walked out the door.

* * *

><p>"Gabriel, you don't want to be dead." Christopher said, kissing him softly. "Now wake up."<p>

Gabriel's eyes fluttered open and he bit back a groan as reality crashed down around him. He looked around, the room was dark it must have been night time. There was a figure lying on its side in the bed beside him, he couldn't make out who it was but his heart clenched painfully. _I did this, _he thought. He rolled over and realised that Will was once again sitting in the chair behind his bed. The younger boy was watching him with an unreadable expression.

Gabriel licked his lips. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

Will sighed. "Demons. Sophie's hurt badly. Charlotte and Gideon are okay. Your father has been taken to the Silent City. Tessa and Jem went with them to the Magister. Henry...Henry is dead." He listed their names emotionlessly, as though he were reciting a particularly well rehearsed speech.

Gabriel couldn't stop the crashing wave of guilt that rises up within him. "I did this," he mumbled through the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. _Your fault, your fault, your fault, _his heart whispered with every beat. _Henry's dead, Tessa and James are gone, Gideon's love is hurt._

"This isn't your fault," Will said tonelessly, looking away from Gabriel. He sounded broken, defeated, tired. _Your fault._

"Of course it is," Gabriel said before he could stop himself. "I should have just died, why couldn't I have just died? But I didn't."

Will looked at him long and hard. "Yeah, you didn't." He said cruelly.

Gabriel's eyes widened.

"So it _is_ my fault," Gabriel cried softly. "I killed Henry, and Tessa and Jem. They're going to die and it's _my _fault."

Will watched Gabriel bit back tears and if his heart had been anyway intact it might have broken a little bit. Gabriel started shaking, like he had when he first woke up and Will put a hand on his shoulder, alarmed. "Calm down, it's not your fault. I didn't mean..." he said standing up.

He bit his lip. He hadn't cried when they'd found Henry. He hadn't cried when Magnus had said Sophie might not make it, she wasn't a shadow hunter, they couldn't use runes. He hadn't cried when he'd sat in Jem's empty room, when he'd looked at the battered copy of _Tale of Two Cities _in his bedroom. But now he wasn't sure if he could hold back the tears.

"By the angel, Gabriel, I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I shouldn't have said that, it wasn't true, it wasn't your fault. I was just..." he moved towards Gabriel and without quite knowing why he clambered onto the bed and pulled Gabriel towards him. "It's not your fault, it'll be okay. It'll be okay." Will said, ignoring the burn of tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Will," Gabriel whispered. "It's my fault, it's my fault. You should kill me, Will. Just kill me."

Will fisted a hand in Gabriel's hair and clenched his eyes shut. "Shut up, Gabriel. Just shut up." He said, pressing Gabriel tighter to his chest.

Gabriel broke and Will felt the older boy's back begin to shake with silent sobs.

And Will broke with him.

* * *

><p><em>If I lied you'd know it instantly<em>_  
><em>_So I just had to look away__  
><em>_All the honesty I've ever lost__  
><em>_I can't begin to even curse__  
><em>_I never knew the taste of blood till now__  
><em>_It's clear I never should have known __  
><em>


	7. If I Only Could

**AN: **So this chapter took a long time because I'm really not happy with it . but anyway, there's awkward Will/Gabriel feels so win? Also, really sorry about Henry guys I love him but he had no role in this story :( Also the next update will be pretty slow since I need to work out where I'm going with this.

And sorry for lamest evil guy plan ever. :D failure all round! Lyrics and title from Running Up that Hill which is completely irrelevant to this chapter but fitting for the Will/Tessa/Jem love triangle and even Will/Gabriel. Sort of, if you squint and turn your head to the side.

* * *

><p><em>You don't want to hurt me,<em>_  
><em>_But see how deep the bullet lies.__  
><em>_Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.__  
><em>_There is thunder in our hearts, baby.__  
><em>_So much hate for the ones we love?__  
><em>_Tell me, we both matter, don't we?_

* * *

><p>"It'll be okay," Jem whispered, taking Tessa's hand in his own. "They'll find us before anything happens."<p>

Tessa hummed and pressed herself closer to him. She could feel his heart beating, slow and steady. _Slow and steady. _ The carriage they had been driven in had no windows so they had no way of telling where they had been taken. When they let out of the carriage they found themselves in front of a grand country cottage and had been promptly led round the back to a cellar door and left in a small cell together. They had no idea how much time had passed but at some point during the night Mortmain had entered their cell, grinning. He said the same thing he had as before; if Tessa agreed to marry him the other Shadow Hunters would not be harmed. But Jem and Tessa knew the truth.

The demons that had driven them to Mortmain's current house clearly had a different idea of how Mortmain's plan was going. They spoke of Mortmain's plans to destroy Shadowhunters so that Downworlders could live freely. But it was more sinister than that. He wanted to use his automatons to rule them, king of the Downworlders. And then the world.

"We'll be okay," he murmured, kissing her forehead.

But Tessa wasn't worried about herself. She didn't think Mortmain would hurt her; the Magister still had plans for her. It was Jem she was worried about.

They didn't have his medicine.

* * *

><p>When Will woke up there was a heavy weight on his chest, for a moment his dream lingered and he expected to look down and see Tessa pillowed against him. But of course, he didn't. He groaned and rubbed his eyes. Gabriel was still asleep and for a moment Will surveyed him. Perhaps Tessa was right, he wasn't completely <em>hideous, <em>but as soon as the thought entered his mind he pushed it away.

There was a heavy sigh from his right and he looked up to see Gideon Lightwood sat on a chair between Gabriel's bed and Sophie's. He was watching Will with an unreadable expression in his green eyes. _Well this is awkward._

Will sat up and his first instinct was to blurt out a hurried _nothing happened! _ But he didn't, instead he said, "Morning."

Gideon sat back in his chair. "Good morning, William."

Will was expected something along the lines of '_why the hell are you in my brothers bed?'_ But Gideon said nothing of the sort so Will stood up and looked at Sophie, pale and still. "No change?" he asked softly.

"No change," Gideon confirmed. Will noticed that his fists were clenched so tightly that the knuckles had gone white and he wondered what Gideon was thinking about. Will untangled himself from Gabriel and stood up.

"Did Magnus leave?" Will asked when the silence stretched too long for him.

Gideon nodded, "Charlotte's gone to the Enclave, she won't be back for a while."

Will nodded and left the healing room, the Institute was empty. He closed his eyes and let silence crash down around him. Everyone was gone leaving only a dull ache in his heart, he wouldn't let himself feel anymore than that. Not until he'd found Jem and Tessa. Not until he'd destroyed the Magister for what he'd done to Henry and Charlotte. What he'd done to him.

With Tessa and Jem gone Will felt incomplete, empty.

He knew he shouldn't, he knew Charlotte would want him to stay in the Institute but how could he? It should have been him stepping forwards to go with Tessa. He grabbed his gear and left without a second glance.

* * *

><p>Tessa held her head up high as the automaton did the back of the golden wedding dress up. The Magister certainly wasn't wasting any time. They hadn't seen him since that first night; they'd only seen automatons since and once a warlock with curled horns like a ram.<p>

She took a shaky breath as she looked at herself in the long mirror opposite her. The dress was beautiful, she had to admit and the way the automaton had done her hair made her look like a princess from the fairy stories she had read when she was younger. But it made her skin crawl.

This wasn't how her wedding should be.

She thought of Jem, beautiful Jem, sat alone in their tiny prison. She was glad and slightly surprised that they hadn't moved them to separate cells; a tiny part of her knew that the Magister was keeping them together so Tessa would have to watch Jem fade and wither.

He already was. He had been exhausted by the fight and looked paler than usual and Tessa was beginning to wonder how much longer he'd last.

The automaton clucked approvingly and left for a few minutes and Tessa's eyes fell upon the barred window at the end of the low room. For a few mad moments she entertained the idea of changing in to someone stronger, someone who could rip those bars apart and escape after daringly rescuing Jem, of course. But she knew she couldn't. She hadn't changed in to anyone strong enough to rip apart iron bars and she had no idea where they were.

The door swung open again and this time the Magister himself strode in, smirking. "Beautiful, Tessa." He said, eyeing her up and down. "You look perfect." He stood beside her, "What a handsome couple we make."

He took her hand and she glanced at him, _do anything and Jem dies, _his eyes said. Tessa clenched her jaw and resisted the urge to strangle the man beside her.

"Why are you doing this?" she spat.

He grinned, "Patience, dear girl." He said in a voice of black velvet. He turned and strode back towards door pausing when he reached it to smile and say, "We will marry when your silver flame goes out."

This time Tessa couldn't resist the urge to leap at him and he smiled before slamming the door in her face. She was seething with rage when the automaton led her back down to the cellar but it vanished when she was pushed in to the cell.

Jem was slumped over, his whole body shaking with violent coughs.

"_Jem!" _

"Tessa," he managed between coughs, "I'm-I'm fine!" She helped him up and on to the thin mattress they'd been given. He leant heavily against her panting and she clutched him to her willing his body to stop trembling. His left hand was bloodied.

When it did he looked at her and smiled weakly and she kissed him softly on the cheek. "Where did they take you?" he rasped and Tessa wished she could offer him some water, or anything, to soothe his throat.

"To try on a wedding dress," she said and even as she said it she realised just how absurd their situation was. "He says I'm to marry him..." she paused and looked at Jem who was watching her with wide silver eyes. "Soon." She finished lamely.

Jem raised his unbloodied hand and touched Tessa's cheek gently. "Don't worry, love. They'll reach you before the wedding. I'm sure of it."

"It's not _me_ I'm worried about," she half sobbed as she took his hand in hers. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his chest and Tessa thought of the raw, bleeding agony she'd felt in Gabriel's mind at the briefest memory of a kiss.

* * *

><p>The streets of London were deadly silent as Will slipped through them. He'd been searching for almost three days. Three days of desperation. Three days of nothing. His feet ached, his head pounded and his stomach growled pitifully. He swayed slightly as he walked; the warm buzz of alcohol was the only thing keeping him going.<p>

As he reached the doors to the Institute the silence was shattered by the eerie cry of an urban fox and Will paused at the gates. This wasn't _his _Institute anymore. It was an empty, broken thing filled with ghosts and could-have-once-beens. For a moment he entertained the idea of running away, leaving London and his days as a Shadowhunter behind him. He could go back to Wales, build himself a new life, start over. He had done it once, he could do it again!

_Could you though? Could you really just leave them all?_ His conscience (that sounded annoyingly like Jem) whispered.

He thought about Tessa and Jem and how happy Jem had looked announcing their engagement, how brave Tessa had been when she went with those demons. He thought about Henry and how courageously he had died, he thought about Charlotte and wondered whether their baby would look more like Henry or her. He thought about Sophie, poor, sweet Sophie lying in the healing rooms with Gideon keeping a silent vigil. And he thought about Gabriel sobbing against him.

And he knew he couldn't leave.

With a heavy heart he strode through the gates and in to the Institute.

He had expected that everyone would be in bed but as he passed the library the warm flicker of flames caught his eye and he peered in. Gabriel Lightwood was sitting beside the fireplace, nose buried in a thick black book. Church was curled up purring enthusiastically in his lap.

Will took a couple of steps in to the room. Gabriel looked well, if a little pale. "I was wondering when you'd turn up," Gabriel said suddenly without looking up from the book.

Will jumped slightly and Gabriel grinned slyly, still not looking at him. He blamed the alcohol for the strange warmth Gabriel's grin sent through his body.

"Yes, well," he said stiffly. "I thought I should at least _try _to rescue my best friends since no one else was doing anything."

Gabriel huffed but ignored Will's scathing tone. "Charlotte was worried."

Will nodded and sat down heavily in the chair opposite Gabriel. Church blinked haughtily at him and Will glared at the cat, "Traitor," he said. "He's only been here a week and you're all over him. _I _helped rescue you, you ungrateful fleabag."

Gabriel chuckled and shut the book, Will looked up to find Gabriel studying him through bright green eyes and he looked away, busying himself with wrestling his shoes off his poor feet. "How's Sophie?" he asked, still looking at his feet.

"She'll live," Gabriel replied sighing. "She's still not awake though."

Will nodded and once he'd successfully freed his feet he looked up to find Gabriel still looking at him. In the fire's soft glow Will had to admit Gabriel did look good, but he blamed that on the alcohol. "Going to admire me all day, Lightwood?" he asked, looking away with a smirk and trying hard not to allow his voice to shake.

Gabriel eyes narrowed at Will's remark but instead of the angry retort Will was hoping for Gabriel sighed. "I don't understand, Will. I know it was you who was calling to me when I was out of it. I just don't understand why, though."

"I felt sorry for you." He lied. Will didn't look at him; if he had he would have said something entirely different.

He closed his eyes and wished he was with Tessa and Jem.

* * *

><p><em>And if I only could,<em>_  
><em>_Make a deal with God,__  
><em>_And get him to swap our places,__  
><em>_Be running up that road,__  
><em>_Be running up that hill,__  
><em>_Be running up that building,__  
><em>_If I only could, oh...__  
><em>


	8. The Sky Is Falling

**AN: **I'm sorry it's been so long guys; real life is being unnecessarily cruel. As always, thanks a lot for all your feedback :) Keep it coming please, cybercookies on offer! This chapter's a slightly awkward balance...you'll understand when you read it.

Lyrics and title from Scars by Anna Nalick.

* * *

><p><em>the sky is falling<em>_  
><em>_i'm not going home without you__  
><em>_i'll save your life__  
><em>_ not going home without you__  
><em>_i'll make this right __  
><em>_and wait all night if that's what it takes_

* * *

><p>"They think they've found where they're keeping Tessa and Jem."<p>

Will's heart skipped a beat and he slammed the book he'd been reading down on the table and looked up at Charlotte who was hovering in the doorway. "Where?" he demanded.

Gabriel who was sitting across from him, Church in his lap, looked up.

It had been almost a week since Tessa and Jem had been taken by the Magister. Charlotte had called in every Downworlder she'd ever met and begged them to help search for them, the Enclave had put the London Institute on lockdown. This was the second time demons had broken in and the Enclave weren't convinced Benedict was the only traitor. Sophie was awake now but she was still bed bound and Gideon wouldn't leave her side.

"A country house, in Essex." Charlotte replied.

Will stood up, "Well let's go!"

"Will, we can't. The Clave are still voting on what to do. If we disobey again..." she trailed off, one hand unconsciously going to her stomach. She'd lost Henry; she didn't want to lose anything else. But Will couldn't just sit and do _nothing. _ "Will you have to understand, if we disobey once more who knows what will happen!"

"How can they decide that Jem and Tessa aren't worth saving?" Will raged. "Who gave them that right?"

"They said that because the Magister would most likely not be there it wasn't worth it." Charlotte said quietly, looking away.

"Charlotte, I can't just leave them there!" Will cried.

"I know," she said quietly. "Be careful, okay?"

For a moment Will just stared at her. She was giving him permission to leave; if she was caught she could lose _everything._ He strode over to her and hugged her tightly, "I'll bring them back to us, I _promise_, Charlotte."

She squeezed him back. "You better, Will." When she let him go she smiled at him, "It's going to be a long journey, by carriage it'd take almost a day but you'll have to walk. I'll get you a map, go and get your things together. You have to leave quickly."

Will nodded and sprang from the room hurrying upstairs to gather his gear. He'd have to travel light if he was walking all that way, so he only packed his essentials. Some blades, his dagger, a witch light stone, a flask of water, a few scraps of food, a few medical supplies. Now he only needed to pack some of Jem's medicine. He stood up, intending to head into Jem's room to get some when he realised he was being watched.

Gabriel was leaning casually on his door frame, green eyes clouded with thoughts. In the past week Will had begun to tolerate the older boy but now he snapped, "What do you want, Lightwood?"

There was still part of Will that blamed him for all of this. If they had closed their doors Tessa and Jem might still be here. Gabriel probably wouldn't be though. Every time Will looked at him he couldn't help but remember those injuries, how pale he'd looked, how terrified Tessa had been when she'd gone through his memories. Will pretended not to hear when Gabriel had nightmares; it was just easier that way.

Gabriel ran a hand through his brown hair, "This is my fault," He said quietly, "So I'm coming with you, Will."

Will thought about denying him but he knew Gabriel would come anyway. He stood up, "You don't have any gear."

"I'll borrow Gideon's." Gabriel said and there was a tone of defiance in his voice, an unspoken challenge and Will couldn't help but smile at it.

"Be ready in ten minutes."

Gabriel blinked in surprise and Will pushed passed him to get Jem's medicine.

When he got downstairs Charlotte was waiting beside the door, a map clutched in her hands. To Will's surprise Gideon and Gabriel stood beside her, Gabriel packed and ready and Gideon looking decidedly ill at ease. Will felt sorry for him; Sophie was still teetering on the boundaries of life and death and Gabriel had only recently healed, still he knew Gideon wouldn't come with them, he'd stay with Sophie. Will knew if it had been Tessa or Jem lying upstairs half dead he wouldn't leave either.

"Ready?" Charlotte asked, smiling weakly. Will nodded and Gideon growled, "If you let anything happen to my brother, Herondale, I _will _kill you."

"Now, now, Gideon. I'm sure Gabriel is perfectly capable of looking after himself," Will smirked.

"Yes, thank you William. I am."

* * *

><p>Tessa clutched Jem too her as tightly as she could. His heart beat dully against her hand where she had it on his chest. <em>He's still alive, he's still alive.<em> It had been a week, Jem should have been dead, but he wasn't. They hadn't seen the Magister but the demons had started getting creative.

Tessa hadn't left their cell for days. Jem was taken from her every day. She didn't know what they did to him, he wouldn't tell her, but she heard his cries. He cried in mandarin and she didn't understand it but she wished she did.

"I think it's you," he'd panted through bloodied lips. "I think-I think I'm still alive because of you, Tessa. I think you're doing something." She'd shushed him. She wasn't doing anything consciously but what other explanation could there be?

"You should run," he choked as she cleaned the worst of the blood from his face. His beautiful face. "You could do it, Tessa. Change into someone strong and then when they come for me..."

"Jem," she cut him off, already feeling the beginnings of tears. This was an almost nightly conversation. "I'm not leaving you here."

"You should though," he insisted, hands coming up to cup her face. "You could get away, Tess. I'm half dead anyway. They won't hurt you, they know he wants you. Please, Tessa just run."

"Jem, _stop._ I'm not going anywhere. They're coming for us, you know that."

Jem sighed and quieted, allowing her to clean the rest of the blood of his face. "I love you, Tessa." He said quietly. "I'm sorry for all this."

"Jem don't pretend for one minute this is your fault. It isn't. If it's anyone it's mine for coming to London in the first place, for Nate..."

He caught her hand in his. "It'll be okay," he said, smiling slightly, silver eyes warm. And Tessa knew it wouldn't be but when Jem said it she could almost believe him.

"I love you, James." She said softly.

* * *

><p>They had just got outside of London, two hours and a half's walk through winding alley ways and smoky side streets and Will's legs ached already. "Let's take a break," he called to Gabriel who was a little way ahead of him (he had longer legs, okay?)<p>

Gabriel turned back, smirking slightly. "Tired already, Herondale?" he quipped though Will could see he was slightly out of breath.

Will made an obscene gesture and sat down heavily in the long grass on the side of the road. He watched as Gabriel took a long drink from his flask, perhaps the older shadow hunter wasn't so bad after all. That wasn't to say that Will actually _liked _Gabriel though, he was just grateful for his help.

Will felt slightly giddy and he wasn't sure why.

"Do you remember once, Gabriel, that you said you thought we could be friends?" Will said as they began walking again.

Gabriel frowned at him. "Not really."

"Of course you do, Gabe."

Gabriel wrinkled his nose. "It's Gab_riel._" He growled.

"Gideon calls you Gabe." Will pointed out.

"Gideon is my _brother."_

"Whatever," Will said flippantly. "Anyway, what I was going to say was that I've given it much consideration. And I've come to the conclusion that I would like to accept your offer and become friends with you on the grounds that should I die here I'd much rather do it with a distraught friend beside me than an awkward enemy."

Gabriel snorted and Will thought he was trying not to laugh. "Well at least your sense of humour hasn't been affected by all this. And what, pray tell, makes you think I'd want to be your friend, Herondale?"

Will smiled despite himself, _Tessa and Jem are missing and you're joking about with __**Gabriel Lightwood.**_"Who wouldn't want to be my friend?" Will said dramatically. "I mean _look _at me."

This time Gabriel smiled. "You are so strange," he said shaking his head. "But I am afraid that I must decline your request on the grounds that I believe you to be quite mentally unsound."

"You should smile more often," Will said quietly without quite knowing why. "It suits you."

Gabriel _blushed. _"Will-" he began but they were interrupted by a voice from behind them.

"_My_," Magnus Bane purred grinning fiendishly, "_This _is interesting. A Herondale and a Lightwood."

"Magnus!" Will snapped, slightly annoyed at the warlock though not quite sure why. "What are you doing here?"

"Charlotte contacted me after you'd left. Asked me to keep an eye on you," he said, still smiling devilishly. "Besides, I like Tessa. I'd like to help find her."

"Can't you just transport us there?" Gabriel asked, hopefully.

"I'm a warlock, shadow hunter, not a flying carpet." Magnus said, eyeing Gabriel angrily. "Now, we better get going then."

Will glanced once at Gabriel whose gaze was now fixed firmly on the dirt track they were following and began walking.

* * *

><p>Jem's eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. Tessa hadn't eaten in days, her head was pounding. She kept trying to change, someone strong to break down the door, to save them both. But every time she settled on someone they slipped away from her, like sand through splayed fingers.<p>

"Jem?" she rasped, throat dry from thirst (she'd been forcing the water on Jem to keep him hydrated.) "Jem?"

He lifted his head slightly and when he spoke she felt his bone deep weariness. "Yes, love?"

"Just hold on, okay?" she said, biting her lip. "Hold on, okay, Jem?"

He reached up weakly and stroked her cheek, "For you, Tessa, of course I will."

* * *

><p>They had lit a fire and stopped for the night, Will had no idea how long they had been walking but all of them were exhausted. Will had wanted to keep going, Tessa and Jem needed him but he couldn't. He couldn't sleep either, every time he closed his eyes he imagined Tessa crying, Jem bleeding. <em>Jem dead. <em>

He sighed and sat up. Magnus was curled up snoring loudly and Gabriel was sitting awake, staring pensively in to the flames. Will moved to sit closer to the fire and looked over at the older shadow hunter. "What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly for lack of anything else to say.

Gabriel glanced up at him briefly. "Things," he said coldly. Then he sighed and closed his eyes. "Christopher mostly."

"Oh," Will said. He knew a little about Christopher Morgenstern, he knew he and Gabriel had been near inseparable. He'd always wondered why the two had never become parabatai.

"Before he-before he died I went looking for him," Gabriel said vacantly. "Like we're doing now."

Will almost flinched at those implications, Christopher had been found dead. "Tessa and Jem will be alive." He said quickly. _They'll be okay, they'll be fine. _

Gabriel looked unconvinced.

"They will be, Gabriel. You don't know them like I do, they'll be okay."

Gabriel swallowed, "I'm sorry, Will." He whispered. "This is my fault, I should've just...I should have just died."

"Gabriel..." Will began.

"If I had died they'd be fine." He said unsteadily.

Will wanted to point out that the Magister probably would have found a way to get to Tessa eventually anyway and he hated himself for thinking that. He had no idea what to say. He shifted closer to Gabriel and touched his arm gently. Gabriel tensed.

"It's not your fault, Gabriel." Will said calmly.

Gabriel laughed hollowly and shook his head, as though Will had no idea what he was talking about. He looked back to the fire. "It would have been Christopher's birthday today." He said in a voice so quiet it was barely a whisper.

For a moment Will was confused then he saw the way Gabriel's hand was fisted in the material of his trousers, the way his jaw was clenched and the way he was blinking back tears. Oh. _Oh. _He remembered Jem trying to explain to him just how close Gabriel and Christopher had been, he hadn't understood it at the time but now...

"I'm sorry," Will said, because that's what you were meant to say in these situations and then he said, "I'm in love with Tessa."

Gabriel looked at him.

"I'm in love with Tessa," he repeated. "And she's marrying Jem."

"Oh," Gabriel said, looking away. Will watched the way the flickering light played across Gabriel's skin, the way it made his eyes seem smoky green rather than their usual clear green. He realised he still had his hand on Gabriel's arm and without thinking he pulled the older boy closer to him so they were leaning on each other.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel asked dryly, watching Will closely.

Will shrugged and licked his lips. "I have no idea."

* * *

><p><em>And my reflection shows we're clinging to dear life<em>_  
><em>_but I won't let us go we'll make it through all right_


	9. Isn't Easily Won

**AN: **It's been a long time again, soooorrrrrrrrry. So here's a long, dramatic chapter with drama. I fail at writing fight scenes so epically and I've taken some liberties with Warlock powers here :') Thank you so much for the reviews, seriously. They make my day.

Lyrics & title from Soldier by Ingrid Michaelson.

* * *

><p><em>I don't believe in anything but myself<br>I don't believe in anything but myself  
>But then you opened up a door, you opened up a door<br>Now I start to believe in something else  
>But how do I know if I'll make it through?<br>How do I know? Where's the proof in you?_

* * *

><p>The country house lay in a valley, forested on either side. It was the perfect place to hide. The only clear way up to the house was a gravel path that cut through the woods and led up to the wrought iron gates that closed the house off from the rest of the world. They would have to climb over the 10 foot iron perimeter which wouldn't be difficult, but the grounds were crawling with demons, at least twenty of them and Will was willing to bet the house was just as heavily guarded. The Magister would leave nothing to chance, not with Tessa.<p>

They were crouched in a little copse looking down at the house, Magnus was off checking the perimeter, Gabriel had bet him it would have anti-magic charms on it. Will closed his eyes, trying desperately to calm himself. He'd charged blindly in to worse than this but those times the most that was at stake was his own skin now there was Jem, Tessa, Magnus (who Will wasn't really worried about) and Gabriel.

He glanced over at the older boy who was watching the various demons that patrolled the grounds with the precision of a hawk.

"What if it's a trap," Gabriel had whispered to Will last night as they sat leaning on each other, gazing in to the flames. "I mean the Magister wants to destroy Shadow hunters, maybe he knew this would happen, maybe he planned on it," his voice was quiet but Will could detect the tremor in it. "Will, what if we're walking in to a trap? What if Tessa and Jem are already dead and we're just going to be slaughtered? What if he's attacking the London incident right _now_?"

Will had been torn in two. There was the part of him that wanted to scream because Gabriel was probably right, they were going to die, _all _of them. And Will didn't much care about himself but Jem and Tessa and Sophie and Gideon and Charlotte and Magnus and Gabriel, they all deserved better. They deserved to live happily. Tessa and Jem deserved to get married, Sophie deserved to be happy with Gideon, Charlotte deserved to raise her child and Gabriel just deserved to be happy.

Then there was the other part; the part that had held Jem when they were younger and Jem had had nightmares about his parent's death, the part that still remembered what it was to be a big brother, a protector, the part that had held Cecily's hand as she'd taken her first few faulty steps, the part that would never make Tessa choose between him and Jem, that part had wanted to say _no_. _We'll be fine_. _You'll be fine. I won't let __**anything **__happen to you. _And that part had wanted to hold Gabriel closer and that had terrified Will.

"We'll be fine," Will had said.

And Gabriel had trembled against him, "I don't see it, Will." He'd said miserably. "We won't be fine, nothing will ever be fine, nothing has _ever _been fine."

"Gabriel, shut up." Will had murmured, placing a messy kiss on the other boy's cheek. He wasn't sure why he had done it, but it had worked. And he had woken up with his fingers intertwined with Gabriel's.

They hadn't said anything about it.

Gabriel looked up at him suddenly and Will realised he'd been staring. "What?" Gabriel hissed.

"Nothing," Will muttered, trying his best to hide the blush he was sure he could feel creeping up his cheeks. Gabriel was frowning at him and Will knew he was about to question him further when Magnus appeared, breathless.

"You were right," he said, glaring at Gabriel as though the wards were his fault. "The whole thing is charmed against magic. I'll be pretty useless in there but for the most basic of charms."

Will sighed; he had been hoping having a warlock on their side would give them an advantage. "Any idea where they're being kept?" he asked.

Magnus shrugged. "There's a coal shoot so they have a basement but it's a big house. They could be anywhere."

"Right, brilliant," Gabriel muttered and Magnus glared at him again.

"Watch it, Lightwood," he hissed. For a moment the two stared at each other then Gabriel looked away and Magnus looked proud of himself.

"Should we wait for nightfall?" Gabriel asked, sounding so much like a character from an adventure story that Will almost chuckled.

"No," Will said, smiling slightly. "In books they always wait for nightfall, the trees give us enough cover, they'll not be expecting us to attack during the day." Then he added, "And Jem doesn't have his medicine."

"Do we have a plan?"

"Nope," Will replied.

"So you want us, an almost useless warlock and two reckless, young shadow hunters, one who is currently recovering from an extremely traumatic incident, to lay siege to a country house filled with God knows how many demons in broad daylight without a battle plan." Magnus said dryly.

When Will nodded Gabriel laughed, "William Herondale, you are without a doubt the most insane person I know."

"Likewise," Magnus agreed, then he stood up, "Right, shall we go then?" he asked with the air of someone inviting them home for tea.

Gabriel and Will stood up too, drawing their blades and Will noticed that the other boy was trembling slightly. He touched Gabriel's arm. "We'll be okay." He said, firmly.

Gabriel swallowed and turned to him slowly. "I think I believe you." he said.

* * *

><p>"Get up," the demon ordered, tugging on Tessa's arm roughly. "Leave him."<p>

Tessa wanted to protest but she hadn't eaten, hadn't drunk in so long. Her head spun when she stood up and she stumbled. "Jem..." she mumbled.

The demon cackled, "Your silver boyfriend will be dead soon."

Tessa looked down to where Jem lay, chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. He hadn't woken up since they brought him back last night. Tessa felt rage flair up inside her and she lashed out weakly. The demon laughed again and evaded her easily, catching her wrists and twisting them painfully. Tessa cried out and Jem stirred.

"Let me go!" she cried.

"Now, now, little miss warlock," the demon hissed, "The Magister wants you alive but he didn't specify what condition you should be in." And with that the demon twisted her left wrist sharply until she heard a snap and screamed.

"Tessa..." Jem mumbled groggily, brow furrowed as though he were trying to wake.

The demon glared at Jem and turned back to Tessa with a slow smile, "I could kill him right now, slow and painful. Right here. Or you could come with me. You're to put on your pretty frock for the Magister. He's coming to collect you tonight."

"I'll go with you," she said quietly. The demon tugged on her broken wrist and Tessa's head span. _Hurry up, Will._ She thought, prayed. _Hurry, Will, hurry. We won't last much longer._

The demon dressed her and shoved her back in to the cell and Jem looked up, awake. "Tessa!" he cried with so much relief that Tessa felt her heartbreak. "I thought they'd taken you, I thought you were gone!"

Tessa dropped to her knees, cradling her broken wrist to her chest and ran a hand through Jem's starlight coloured hair, matted with dirt and blood. "Jem, oh, Jem, they're taking me tonight. They're going to kill you and the Magister...Jem I don't know what he'll make me do." She whispered. "I'm so weak, Jem."

Jem looked at her. "There is nothing weak about you, Tessa and there never will be."

"I don't know what to do, Jem." She half sobbed.

"Will once told me that when he didn't know what to do he pretended to be a character from a book," Jem rasped. "But Tessa, I think whatever you do you'll make the right choice."

"I don't want to let the Magister use me," she said.

He smiled and lifted his hand to cup her face. "Then don't."

"Will will be here soon," she said softly and Jem smiled and nodded.

"Yes, he will be."

* * *

><p>Will and Gabriel had covered themselves with as many runes as they could think of. Silence, swiftness, strength, courage, stamina. They had a vague plan of sorts, Magnus would deal with the demons in the grounds, leaving the way (mostly) free for Gabriel and Will, then Gabriel would deal with most of the demons in the house and Will would find Jem and Tessa. They were to meet back at the copse if they got separated in anyway.<p>

Will was worried, terrified. Magnus would have limited use of his magic and he knew Gabriel wasn't fully recovered from what had happened to him. He knew it by the way he'd twisted and whimpered in his sleep and the way he'd squeezed Will's hand tightly, like a life line. But as he looked at them now he didn't see any of that. He saw soldiers. He wondered if he was leading them to their death.

"Ready?" Gabriel asked, green eyes meeting his.

Will licked his lips and took a deep breath. "Yeah."

They charged. Well, they ran down the hill towards the fence and manage to vault over it. From there it happened in flashes, in slow motion. There was the sound of a demon crying out; sounding the alert, there was the messy slurping sound it made as Gabriel's blade tore out its throat. There were brightly coloured flashes to the left of him, Magnus' spells. He took down two demons and then spun to take down a third, keeping his eyes fixed on the house. He had no idea where the demons where coming from but suddenly it seemed like there was an impossible amount of them running at him and Will was on autopilot. _Parry, thrust, tear, dodge, stab, kick, dodge, move, twist._ And all the while his brain was repeating_ get to Tessa, get to Jem, get to Tessa, get to Jem._

"Will, Gabriel! Go _now_!" Magnus cried and Will spun quickly to see the warlock's whole body glowing with shimmering red-orange energy. Gabriel was somewhere to his left and Will didn't need telling twice. He met Gabriel's eyes briefly before they both sprinted towards the house, slashing left and right at the demons that continued to pour out at them. Somewhere in the back of Will's mind he wondered how much energy Magnus would have left to escape.

They reached the house and Will kicked down the front door just in time. The explosion shook the house and heat burnt their backs. Will wanted to turn back to make sure the warlock was okay but he didn't get a chance too, as soon as they stepped inside they were beseeched by demons and automatons. He was back on autopilot, _tear, dodge, kick _and he was tiring, faster than he'd thought he would. He had no idea how many he'd killed, if he'd been hit, adrenaline was searing through his veins and all he could think was, _Tessa and Jem. Tessa and Jem are here. _ He paused for a fraction of a second to seek out Gabriel in throng and it was enough time for a demon to rake its claws across his chest.

The sharp, sudden pain bought him sharply back to reality and the enormity of his situation crashed over him with the force of a tidal wave. There were too many, they didn't even know where Tessa and Jem were. They were going to die. They were going to be torn apart by demons. Choking on fear Will clumsily swiped at the demon that had clawed him.

"Will!"

He turned, still swiping. Gabriel was fighting his way towards him. "Will, look!"

Will did. At the end of the long hall was a door that hung open. A door that revealed a set of stairs leading down to the dark basement beneath the house. Gabriel reached him, "Will, they'll be down there," he panted.

Will looked around hopelessly, "There are too many, Gabriel."

"You have to _try_!" Gabriel said, green eyes flashing angrily as he turned and disembowelled another demon. "We'll hold them off for as long as we can."

_We? _Will stabbed the demon in front of him and twisted to see brightly coloured flashes from the doorway, _Magnus_. But he couldn't just leave them here, they'd be slaughtered. Gabriel seemed to read his mind and shoved him hard towards the door.

"_Go,_" he roared with such force that Will found himself obeying. He made it to the door and turned only to see the door swing shut as Magnus Bane sent a flash of gold towards it.

Will was plunged in to darkness and he scrambled for his witchlight stone, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. He couldn't hear any movement and when he finally drew the stone out he found the corridor empty. He made his way gingerly down the stairs and began down the narrow passage, peering into each mini cell as he passed. Now that he was away from the fight he could feel every wound. He could feel injuries burning across his whole body. There was blood dripping down his face from a gash on his forehead and his chest was sticky and wet and stung. His left leg throbbed dully whenever he moved it and when he put weight on it he felt dizzy. He didn't dare look at it.

He was beginning to feel sick. They weren't down here. The cells were all empty. And then he reached the second to last one. The door was ajar and he drew his blade before pushing it open.

"Will!"

"Tessa!" Will cried, intending to run to her but he stopped because in the other corner of the cage was a demon, holding Jem's lifeless body.

"Take one more step, Shadow Hunter, and I kill him." the demon said quietly in a low voice.

Will froze, "Let him go." He spat.

"Or what?" the demon drawled, "You're half dead anyway. Your friends upstairs are definitely dead. The Magister will be arriving later tonight for your pretty girlfriend and he'll be very upset with you." the demon smirked. "Drop the blade Shadow hunter. You can't do anything to me."

Will let the blade fall from his hands and clatter to the stone floor below. He'd come this far. _This far_.Just to fail. "I'm sorry Tessa," he said, eyes fixed on the bloodied blade. "I'm sorry, Jem."

The demon laughed and kicked the blade away. "Now, what shall I do with you, hm? I could kill you. Or I could string you up for the Magister's entertainment and let him watch you scream."

Will kept his eyes fixed on the floor, willing himself not to cry, to _scream_ with frustration. _So. Close. _

"It'd be such a nice wedding gift for your pretty girl, don't you think?" the demon said.

Will closed his eyes. Gabriel was probably dead.

"She'd love it. Maybe I could let you watch your friend die first. He's your parabatai, isn't he? You failed him. You failed her, how does that feel Shadow hunter?"

Will bit his lip.

"She'd-" the demon faltered.

Will looked up.

Tessa was standing, Will's blade in hand and buried deep in the demon's throat. "Villains always monologue," she said, voice cracked and dry, with a small smile.

Will didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead he swallowed them both and stepped forwards to take Jem's limp body from the demon's hands. Tessa stepped back letting the demon's body crumple. "Can you carry him?" she asked.

Will nodded, "Can you walk?" When she nodded he turned and they left the cell together, at a run.

"There's a way out this way," Tessa called. "It's the way they brought us in."

Will followed her holding Jem tightly. He weighed so little, too little. Their way out was mercifully free of demons and Will managed to make his way up to the copse before his knees buckled and he set Jem down. "You're alive," he choked and Tessa sobbed and held him. "You're both _alive._"

"I knew you'd come," Tessa whispered. "I _knew _it. I knew it."

"Are you hurt?" Will asked when they pulled apart.

"Not badly. But Jem..."

Will nodded hurriedly and drew a clumsy iratze on his parabatai's chest. "His medicine," he said, "There's some in my bag." He stood, swaying slightly. "I have to go back; I have to find Magnus and Gabriel."

Tessa looked too tired to argue so Will jogged back to the house, cursing himself for not drawing his own iratze. When he reached the grounds he only saw one figure, Magnus.

"Gabriel?"

Magnus shook his head, eyes slightly sorrowful. "I haven't seen him."

For a few moments Will stood frozen before he turned and darted back in to the house.

"Will!" Magnus called after him but Will didn't stop. He bounded through the demon filled grounds and leapt through the open door way to the long low hallway that led to the basement stairs. It was littered with dead demons he ran to the place Gabriel had pushed him away. The door to the stairs was still shut. He glanced desperately around him for any sign of the shadow hunter amongst the demons, _please, just today, let it all be okay._ He was almost sobbing when he spotted Gabriel in the tangle of bodies. He dug him out, bloodied and bruise.

"Please," he whispered as he searched for a heartbeat. "_Please._"

He found one.

"Oh, Gods," he whispered in relief. "Thank Raziel."

Gabriel stirred under Will's hands. His green eyes fluttered open, hazy and dull. "Knew you'd come back for me," he mumbled.

Will smiled, no longer caring if he was crying. "I told you we'd all be okay." He said somewhere between a laugh and a sob.

* * *

><p><em>And so it goes, this soldier knows<br>The battle with the heart isn't easily won  
>And so it goes, this soldier knows<br>The battle with the heart isn't easily won  
>But it can be won<em>


End file.
